longer.blue

TW: Serious Stuff Here! Saturday I finally get a chance at closure with the loss of my grandfather to cancer. We are having a celebration of his life and most of my closest family will be there. I feel the need to tell the story of the impact of his life on mine. I'm not sure why. It just feels like something I need to do. My Nanny and Papa couldn't have kids of their own, and thanks to them, they gave a second chance to quite a few kids by fostering them. My mother was lucky enough to be one of those kids. She came from an abusive household, being forced to live in a closet for most of her life until high school. They took her in, cared for her as though she was their own flesh and blood, and gave her so much love when she needed it most. They supported and loved her when my mom got pregnant with me, while still in high school. They worked so hard to help her every step of the way, through even more of the hardest things she would experience. My father died in a car accident 6 months before I was born, but they were right there to lift her up and give her everything they could to support her and me. I will be forever thankful for the emotional, physical, and financial stability they provided for my mother, step father, brother and sister while growing up. We never had much money, but they always found a way to make sure we had things for birthdays and Christmas. I came to find out later in life that they were the ones to pay for moving costs and would always cosign on the home loans for our family, which is amazing to me given we moved pretty much every year of the first 12 years of my life, when everything changed. My Mother and Papa were driving on the interstate heading up to Illinois for a family emergency, when a blown semi tire forced my mom to have to swerve and lose control. My mom suffered severe head trauma and was left braindead on life support and my papa had a broken leg and internal bleeding but thanks to emergency surgery pulled through. After all of the hardship they had to endure they were always there for me. They always showed me massive love and support. He was the one who taught me how to swim. He was the one on random weekdays would take me to Disney just to hang out and talk. He was the one who always had my back, and I'll never forget how many times he would always say "I just want you to know you are loved and I always want you to be as happy as you can." This past year has been tough, but I really am trying to stay positive through it all (so thankful I got my depression meds when I did). Thank you to everyone who has reached out to ask how I am. I can't bring myself to respond individually, but please know it means to world to me that you have reached out. I'll be back to my spaces when I can.