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The list of things I need to do has become unmanageable. I suspect it will take quite some time to make a dent in it. I've finally come to the realization that enjoying life is so much more important than following social media. I've spent countless hours providing content and trying to keep up. There have been serious costs to my health. Work/life balance can be hard to achieve. In my case, I'm retired so my home is my work. My whole home has been neglected for far too long. It may well take a year or more to get caught up — honestly! ☹️ I missed spring cleaning last year. I spent no time outdoors for gardening or yard work. It's past time to get off my duff and get started. It will be a challenge to limit my online time as well as stay offline, but my mental health and sanity require it. I will drop in from time to time, and you will still hear from me. I use Publer @publer.com for both scheduled posts and auto-publishing from select RSS feeds. When my Publer Professional subscription expires at the end of July I'll probably pause it and downgrade to the free plan. Please be patient with comments, likes, and follow-backs. It might sound morbid, but if this house isn't cleaned up, we'll never be ready to move when Scott's mother passes (she's been in hospice care for more than a year).

Solo | 1 | Anubis Awakens In the shadowed heart of the Duat, where the eternal river flowed black as pitch and the scales of judgment gathered dust, Anubis stirred. For millennia he had slumbered, jackal-headed guardian of the dead, weighing hearts against the feather of Ma'at. The living world had grown loud and forgetful. Temples crumbled. Prayers faded into memes and digital echoes. But the balance had tipped too far. The veil tore open one storm-lashed night. A ripple passed through the sands of Egypt. In the Valley of the Kings, tourists filming TikToks felt their cameras glitch. Deep beneath the ruins, a sarcophagus that was never meant to be sealed cracked open. Anubis rose, tall and terrible, his obsidian-black form wrapped in linen that shifted like living smoke. Golden eyes burned beneath the jackal mask. He carried no weapon death needed none. His mere breath was entropy. Only his Was-Scepter He stepped into the mortal realm near Luxor, or as he called it-Thebes, as the first light of dawn bled across the sky. The air grew heavy, thick with the copper scent of impending blood. At first, the changes were subtle. A small fishing boat on the Nile listed suddenly, its hull splitting along an invisible seam. Three men drowned before help could arrive. In the desert outskirts, a jeep carrying archaeologists flipped for no reason, its engine igniting in a bloom of fire. Far away, seismographs in Cairo twitched as tectonic plates, quiet for centuries, began to whisper against one another. Anubis walked north, unseen by most. Those few who glimpsed him a jackal shadow too tall for any earthly animal felt their hearts stutter. He did not hunt. He did not need to. The world itself hurried toward ruin in his wake, as though eager to deliver souls to his scales. By the time he reached the Mediterranean coast, the first hurricane formed unnaturally fast. Meteorologists in Alexandria stared at their screens in disbelief. "This isn't possible," one whispered as Hurricane Khepri spun into existence overnight, sucking moisture from the sea like a starving god. Ships in the harbour snapped their moorings. One massive container vessel, the MV Osiris, was torn in half by waves that should not have existed in calm waters. Hundreds of containers spilled into the deep, and with them, hundreds of lives. Anubis stood on the cliffs and watched, impassive. The dead did not cry out to him; they simply arrived. He moved on, drawn by some ancient instinct toward the great cities of men. Across the sea he travelled, his presence rippling outward like a stone dropped into the river of time. In Europe, forest fires that should have been contained by autumn rains exploded into infernos. Greece, Türkiye, and Italy burned at once. Entire villages vanished in walls of flame that moved with unnatural intelligence, herding people toward dead ends. Over the Atlantic, a passenger jet bound for New York suffered catastrophic engine failure mid-flight. No mechanical explanation was ever found. The plane fell silently from the sky, its final transmission a looping prayer in Arabic that no one understood. Rail lines across Asia buckled. A high-speed train in Asia derailed at 320 kilometres per hour, carving through villages like a scythe. In India, two trains met head-on in a remote station because signals that had functioned flawlessly for decades simply... forgot. Anubis walked through it all. In Mumbai, he passed through a crowded market. Within minutes, a gas cylinder exploded, then another. Bodies piled up. In the Alps, he climbed unseen paths, and an avalanche buried three resorts. Skiers who had laughed moments earlier were found frozen with looks of mild surprise on their blue faces. The world noticed too late. Scientists spoke of climate anomalies. Governments declared states of emergency. Conspiracy forums lit up with theories about HAARP Research, ancient curses, and bioweapons even aliens. A few mystics and Egyptologists whispered the old name: Anubis. Most laughed. Until the floods came. The Nile itself, sacred river of his people, rose in fury. It swallowed villages and ancient sites alike, drowning both the living and the relics of the dead. Followed by all major rivers across the world. In America, Hurricane after hurricane slammed the coasts in a relentless parade. California burned from end to end. Japan faced its strongest earthquake in recorded history, followed by a tsunami that erased entire towns. He was death, and the world was learning what it meant for death to walk among the living. In a quiet moment on the ruins of a temple overlooking the flooded Nile, Anubis finally spoke. His voice was the grinding of stone and the whisper of sand across bone. "The scales were neglected," he rumbled to no one. "Hearts grew heavy with arrogance. Now they will be weighed." Yet even gods can be surprised. A young Egyptian archaeologist named Layla, who had lost her entire family to the first flood, tracked him. She carried no weapons, only a small statue of Anubis her grandmother had given her as a child. When she finally stood before him on the cliffs, soaked and trembling, she did not beg. She asked only: "Why punish the innocent with the guilty?" Anubis regarded her for a long moment. The golden eyes softened, just fractionally. "Because death does not sort the worthy from the unworthy until they stand before me," he said. "And too many have forgotten to live as though they would one day stand there." He placed one great jackal hand upon her shoulder. She did not die. Instead, she felt the crushing weight of every soul lost in his wake millions now pressing into her mind. When he withdrew his touch, Layla fell to her knees, weeping. But the storms did not cease. Anubis turned toward the horizon, where new fires bloomed across continents. The living world had grown too large, too loud, too careless with its fragile spark of existence. Perhaps it needed reminding that all things end. And so the god of death walked on, and the world hurried to meet him.

Stadthallen entwickeln sich zunehmend zu Bühnen der rechten bis verschwörungsideologischen Szene. Das Beispiel Apolda zeigt erneut, wie tief solche Netzwerke mittlerweile in öffentliche Räume vorgedrungen sind. Als Zugpferde dienen ausgerechnet Figuren wie Hans-Georg Maaßen, Diether Dehm oder Wolfgang Wodarg – Namen, die seit Jahren durch Desinformation, verschwörungsideologische Narrative oder die Relativierung demokratischer Institutionen auffallen. Das Muster ist immer dasselbe: Dauerkrise, Systemversagen, angeblich „gleichgeschaltete Medien“, angeblich unterdrückte Wahrheiten. Die Inszenierung lebt von Angst, Misstrauen und dem gezielten Eindruck, Staat und Demokratie stünden kurz vor dem Zusammenbruch. Genau dieses Klima braucht die rechte Szene: Verunsicherung, Wut und das permanente Gefühl, „belogen“ zu werden. Besonders perfide ist dabei die Selbstinszenierung als mutige Außenseiter. Da wird von „Klartext“ und „Mut“ gesprochen, während gleichzeitig altbekannte verschwörungsideologische Erzählungen recycelt werden. Die Veranstaltung wirbt sogar offen damit, „Mainstream-Medien“ würden die Wahrheit verschweigen – ein klassisches Feindbild-Narrativ der Szene. Und natürlich darf der obligatorische Opfermythos nicht fehlen: angeblich „mundtot gemacht“, „zensiert“ oder „angefeindet“. Tatsächlich handelt es sich bei vielen der auftretenden Personen um bestens vernetzte Akteure mit enormer Reichweite innerhalb rechter, verschwörungsideologischer und esoterischer Milieus. Besonders absurd wirkt die Formulierung „Kein Podium für Selbstdarsteller“. Genau das ist diese Veranstaltung: eine Bühne für politische Selbstvermarktung, Empörungsgeschäft und verschwörungsideologische Mobilisierung. Wer sich als angeblich letzter Wahrheitsverkünder inszeniert, während er Tickets verkauft, Bücher vermarktet und Reichweite generiert, betreibt kein aufklärerisches Projekt, sondern kalkulierte Selbstinszenierung. Hinzu kommt: Die Stadthalle gehört der Stadt. Umso befremdlicher ist es, dass eine Veranstaltung mit derart offensichtlichen verschwörungsideologischen und demokratiefeindlichen Untertönen dort überhaupt stattfinden kann. Öffentliche Hallen sind keine neutralen Räume außerhalb gesellschaftlicher Verantwortung. Wenn kommunale Infrastruktur Akteuren zur Verfügung gestellt wird, die gezielt Misstrauen gegen Demokratie, Medien und staatliche Institutionen schüren, wirft das zwangsläufig Fragen auf. Problematisch ist zudem, dass selbst offizielle Stellen wie die Seite des Kreises Weimarer Land die Veranstaltung als normalen Hinweis verbreiten. Das verleiht einem Milieu Legitimität, das gezielt demokratische Institutionen delegitimiert. Dass dort mit Hans-Georg Maaßen ein ehemaliger Verfassungsschutzpräsident auftritt, dem seit Jahren rechtsextreme und verschwörungsideologische Positionierungen vorgeworfen werden und der selbst vom Verfassungsschutz im Phänomenbereich Rechtsextremismus geführt werden soll, macht die Sache nicht besser. In Thüringen scheint das offenbar niemanden mehr ernsthaft zu irritieren. Übrigens: Selbst Tickets werden über einen Shop der FUNKE Medien Thüringen GmbH verkauft. Auch das zeigt, wie normalisiert und kommerzialisiert dieses Milieu inzwischen geworden ist. Rechte und verschwörungsideologische Veranstaltungen laufen längst nicht mehr nur über dubiose Kleinstplattformen, sondern finden zunehmend Anschluss an etablierte Strukturen und Vertriebskanäle. Hinter einem der szeneinternen Ticketportale steckt die »Krasser Guru GbR« – inzwischen ein regelrechter Markt der rechten und verschwörungsideologischen Szene. Der Kern bleibt jedoch das Ticketportal sowie der Verkauf von Büchern; daneben gibt es Webinare, Streams, Vorträge und Seminare. Von Daniele Ganser über Kayvan Soufi-Siavash (ehemals Ken Jebsen) bis hin zur Partei dieBasis ist dort nahezu das gesamte verschwörungsideologische Spektrum vertreten. Verkauft wird dabei immer dieselbe Erzählung: Das System lügt, die Demokratie funktioniert nicht mehr, nur „alternative Stimmen“ würden noch die Wahrheit sagen. Genau diese Erzählung ist brandgefährlich – weil sie Vertrauen in demokratische Institutionen gezielt zerstört und Menschen immer tiefer in autoritäre und antidemokratische Milieus zieht. /Obi * Kayvan Soufi-Siavash trat früher unter dem Namen „Ken Jebsen“ auf.

Who is Raymond ? Raymond King, known as Ray, The Eye of Ra, is the Immortal Host of Ra, the living embodiment and chosen vessel of the ancient Egyptian Sun God. He is a modern-day champion who walks the line between mortal man and divine power. Origin and Transformation Raymond King was born in Chicago, a legendary mediumweight boxer known for his thunderous punches and unbreakable will. At forty, after a successful but punishing career, he retired carrying the scars of countless battles. Deep within his bloodline lay a secret: he was a direct descendant of ancient Egyptian pharaohs. Drawn by an inexplicable pull, he travelled to Cairo and settled near the ruins of Heliopolis, the ancient centre of Ra’s worship. There, he formed a touching bond with Zia, a bright-eyed nine-year-old flower girl who called him “Uncle Ray.” One fateful afternoon, a gas explosion engulfed a marketplace building. Zia was trapped inside. Without hesitation, Raymond rushed into the flames, lifted the burning debris off her, and shielded her with his own body. As the fire consumed him, he clutched his ancestral scarab amulet and offered his life for hers: "Not her… Take me instead." His selfless sacrifice awakened Ra. A pillar of blinding golden-white light descended, and the sun god merged his eternal essence with Raymond’s dying body. The scarab fused into his chest, and cosmic solar fire reborn him. When the light faded, Raymond emerged unharmed, carrying a safe Zia in his arms. He was no longer purely human. He had become the Living Sun,the eternal host of Ra. Appearance and Personality Raymond is a powerfully built, muscular man in his prime, often seen wearing a white T shirt and linen white pants. His eyes contain flecks of living sunlight, and when his power stirs, golden rays dance beneath his skin. The scarab mark on his chest glows when he channels Ra’s energy. He retains his charming, street-smart boxer personality, confident, witty, and fiercely protective. Yet he also carries the ancient weight and wisdom of Ra. He is both a warm-hearted “Uncle Ray” who buys flowers for a little girl and a majestic god-king who commands cosmic forces. Powers and Abilities As Ra’s immortal host, Raymond possesses immense solar-based powers: - Solar Mastery: He can summon searing beams of solar energy, unleash cosmic fire that burns both physical and supernatural targets, and radiate golden healing light. - Transformation: He can shapeshift into a radiant falcon form (a peregrine falcon edged with solar fire) capable of diving at over 500+ km/h with devastating force. - Superhuman Strength & Durability: Immense physical power combined with near-invulnerability. - Immortality: He no longer ages, draws strength from sunlight, and needs little sleep. - Divine Authority: He can channel full manifestations of Ra, including a majestic falcon-headed form with a blazing solar disk. All the hidden powers of Ra, pharaoh of gods, the creator, which he explores each day ! Relationships with the Gods Raymond shares a deep, familial bond with the Egyptian pantheon. He affectionately refers to Anubis (the jackal-headed god of the dead) as “my son” and regularly engages him in playful yet intense training battles in the deserts near Heliopolis. In these encounters, Raymond’s falcon form dominates with blinding speed and power, showcasing both fatherly pride and divine might. He has also fought side-by-side with Set, the God of Chaos and Storms, during major threats, proving he can command respect and cooperation among powerful deities. Current Existence Raymond King now walks the modern world as both a man and a god. He carries the eternal duty of the sun, the endless vigilance against chaos and darkness (especially Apophis). While he can live among humans, the vast memories and responsibilities of Ra occasionally weigh heavily on his mortal mind. He is a protector, a warrior, a father-figure, and a living legend ,a retired boxer from Chicago who walked through hellfire for a child and rose as the Sun itself. #Myth | #SPN | #Moonkinght |

(色んな人がいるんだな〜の気持ちで聞き流してほしい) 正直わたしはrfmoから🕑️に入ったわけでもないしライブや番組をまともに見てたりもしないので彼ら自体について語ることはなにもないんですけど、自分がいちばん愛したコンテンツを見送った経験がある身としては、これまでの彼らを追ってたひとたちにはその日々の中でもらった力があったことをいつまでも大事にしててほしいなと思う どうあがいても時間は前に進むし思い出は遠ざかってくけど、この先の日々でしまい込んだ思い出がキラリと輝く瞬間はきっとどこかにありますよと　こんなときに門外漢ではあるけれど、そう言っておきたいです

Solo | 3 | The Hight Priest of Chaos. | The descent into chaos began like a slow poison in the glittering sprawl of Los Angeles. High Priest Nakht-Seth, an ancient warlock who had survived since the reign of Ramesses II by feeding on the life force of thousands, had grown tired of mere survival. Deep beneath the city in forgotten subway tunnels and abandoned film studios, he performed the Ritual of the Black Eclipse, a forbidden rite blending Set’s darkest heka ( magic) with blood drawn from sacrifices. Blood from thirteen unwilling sacrifices fuelled the spell, ripping open the barriers between worlds. Demons poured through. They were not mindless beasts, but ancient horrors from the deepest layers of the Duat: Apep’s Shadowspawn, serpentine entities with oily black scales that dripped venomous darkness, Fleshweavers that possessed humans and slowly turned their bodies inside out while keeping them conscious, and Soul Harvesters, spectral figures with elongated limbs and hollow mouths that screamed the names of their victims as they devoured their essence. The City of Angels descended into nightmare. Possessed celebrities murdered fans on live streams. Highways became slaughter zones. Sacrificial altars rose in the Hollywood Hills under a bruised, unnatural sky. Raymond King, the retired middleweight boxing champion and Immortal Host of Ra, could not stand idle. He had already sensed the darkness looming the city, drawn by the prayers of the victims to "whatever gods be..." He descended into the underground temple like a blazing storm. Channelling Ra’s power, Ray transformed into a living fire-elemental. His entire body became wreathed in roaring red solar flames. He moved like a human inferno, every punch, every strike releasing explosive bursts of cosmic fire. Demons he touched didn’t just die, they vaporized into nothingness. A Shadowspawn lunged at him only to melt into black sludge the moment his flaming fist connected. A Fleshweaver tried to possess him and screamed as solar flames purged it from the inside. Ray carved through the horde, leaving trails of molten glass and ash in his wake. He shot concentrated beams of cosmic fire against the demons, every element answered him for now. He was a boxer so instead of relying on Heka he used his combat skills, fighting the demons head on. For a moment, victory seemed possible. But Nakht-Seth was ancient and cunning. “Kheperu en Set, Ankhu en Khaos! Suten-Ra em Hatiu!” the priest roared. Bone-forged chains erupted from the ground, wrapping around Ray’s flaming limbs and draining his power. A follow-up spell “Heka em Set — Sebekhu Ra!” suppressed the solar flames. Despite Ray’s desperate resistance, burning through chains and turning cultists to cinders, the overwhelming magic finally brought him down. The vibrations and sound of the chant from the High Priest, echoed in his head driving him crazy. Beaten and drained, he was dragged before a grotesque Statue of God Set, built from the fused bones of countless victims. An obsidian sarcophagus awaited, filled with enchanted mercury and blood. Mercury was used as embalming fluid to keep the soul from reaching afterlife. A carefully thought spell. They threw him inside. The lid slammed shut. Mercury engulfed him, burning and suppressing Ra’s power. Ancient binding spells wrapped around his soul as the sarcophagus was sealed beneath the bone statue. Hope died in the suffocating darkness. In that final moment of despair, Raymond surrendered completely. "Ra… The Pharaoh of Gods… I'm your Eye, your host, help me, Take me." The scarab detonated with blinding radiance. The sarcophagus exploded in a cataclysm of solar fire. Raymond’s body rose and transformed into the full majestic form of Ra radiant golden skin, blazing eyes, and a falcon head crowned with a living solar disk. Nakht-Seth recoiled in horror. Ra’s voice shook the underground temple: “You dared touch what is Mine.” Every spell reversed. Demons began burning from within. Ra raised his hand and called across realms: “Sutekh! Lord of the Red Lands! God of Storms and Chaos! Your Pharaoh summons you!” Reality tore open with a deafening thunderclap. From the rift emerged the God Set, towering, red-skinned, beast-headed, crackling with storm energy and wielding a massive obsidian spear. The priest fell to his knees. “My Lord Set! I have prepared this world for you!” Set looked at Ra, then dropped to one knee. “I am chaos and destruction,” Set declared, voice like grinding thunder. “But I am first and foremost your loyal shield, Great Ra. Command me, my Pharaoh.” Ra nodded. “Then fight beside me, as we did in the old days.” Together, the two gods unleashed devastation. Ra manifested a blazing spear of pure solar fire and charged into battle. He moved with majestic fury, thrusting his spear through Shadowspawn, causing them to explode into golden ash. Set fought like a hurricane beside him, impaling Fleshweavers and tearing Soul Harvesters apart with sadistic joy. Father and son, Sun and Storm, fought in perfect, terrifying harmony, just as they had in ancient times against Apophis. When only Nakht-Seth remained, Set bowed deeply to Ra and stepped back. “The great Pharaoh has spoken.” Ra unleashed his wrath. Nakht-Seth burned from the inside with cosmic solar fire, screaming until nothing remained but dust. Ra commanded Set, "Time warp the reality and let innocents live, Set, its time you bring your house in order." With this Ra raised his hands and spoke the sacred words of renewal “Death is but the doorway to new life. We live today. We shall live again. In many forms shall we return.” A wave of golden light swept across Los Angeles. The innocent dead rose once more, healed and reborn under the mercy of the Sun. Their memories wiped, the evidence of this fight of Order and Chaos erased, from all files, records, digital centres. The world resumed its normal life, unaware that it had been saved by creator himself. In Aftermath, Raymond, woke up in someplace he had no memory of traveling to, near Washington Monument, in the white obelisk. Why ? An obelisk represents a sunbeam frozen in stone, a life-giving ray from the original king of the gods, Ra. It doesn’t matter when the structure was built: it is still Egyptian. That’s why any obelisk can be used for opening gates to the Duat, or releasing great beings of power or to imprison them.

Se acaba de liberar ARC4NERD y llega al Amiga con sabor arcade clásico. Inspirado en la fórmula tipo Arkanoid, propone destruir bloques usando una bola rebotante, reflector móvil, obstáculos, drones y power-ups en forma de disquetes de 3.5”. Incluye más de 55 niveles y edición física de colección con extras. Requiere Amiga 500, Kickstart 1.3, 1 MB de RAM y unidad de disquete. #amiga #retrogaming #arc4nerd

The House passed a proposed national Don’t Says Trans law and forced outing bill, which if made law would mean schools that acknowledged students or teachers were LGBTQ+ could be stripped of federal funding. While it’s likely dead in the Senate,eight Democrats (Reps. Vicente Gonzalez, Cuellar, Don Davis, Fields, Gillen, Kaptur, Gluesenkamp Perez, Vindman) joined the GOP in voting yes, the largest number of defectors on a standalone anti-trans bill in some time. There are some folks in the Democratic caucus who are not hearing the message that we are not interested in throwing our trans siblings under the bus, so we’re going to need to make it louder.Let’s start by letting our senators know, especially if they’re Democrats, that we want them to kill this bill. We can find call scripts here, https://5calls.org/issue/lgbtq-students-education-funding/ and email languagehere, https://action.transequality.org/a/voteno2616protectstudents>>>Source-Joe Katz

I started learning game development a week ago, let's see what happend during this first week: Made some big decisions, like choosing an engine (Gdevelop) and a pixel art tool (Aseprite), so this means that my first games probably will be 2d pixel art games. Later I would like to make 3d games too (probably with Blender and Godot). This week went by FAST... Started with engine and art tutorials, but parallel to that I would like to make some silly little fun things as well, to keep my whimsical side engaded too. Focusing too much tutorials can kill motivation. I also found a bunch of cool sound and music tools (like BeepBox, JSFXR, Omnichord, and Talkmodachi for voice overs) I wanna start creatind with those soon! Had a bit of an existential crisis midweek, when I realised HOW MUCH I NEED TO LEARN to make my solo game. It feels impossible, but I won't give up. I will go step by step, making small incremental progress towards small attainable projects. Started reading the game desing book called "The Art of Game Design" by Jesse Schell. It's one of the best books on game design according to the internet, and after a couple of pages I can say it's engaging and interesting. I bought the cards as well, they are like taro cards. Can't wait to try those too! I read it somwhere that I should start game jamming as soon as possible to feel the true terrors of game development XD And I will do that as soon as possible, but I would like to make a small shitty game first, and when I get that I can start jamming. I also started posting here on bsky my whole journey and I got 4 followers!! Thanks guys!!! Appreciate the early support!!! Let's start the second week, woohoo! #gamedev #indiedev #pixelart #aseprite #gdevelop #8bit

‪🌞T h e r è s e‬ ‪@theresheis.bsky.social‬ I feel you. Our government seems to go maga like as well. Police isn't protecting the people anymore. Government is ignoring the national institutions, abusing power, ignoring law, tackling the justice system. It looks more autocratic than democratic. But people are 'sleeping'. Those who are influencing the misery at your end are partially doing the same here. Big money, big tech, they want global power. Thiel and Co are touching base here already. It almost seems like a parallel world. But it is real.

アバター 傲慢な貴族白エレオスと下僕のアバター黒エレオスの話 領主の傲慢エレオスは傍若無人に振舞っていた ミスをした召使はすぐに処刑する 必死に命乞いをするシェーダーの召使も 無慈悲に斬首した （召使は全員美形の若いエレオス） 一切の躊躇なく召使達の命を奪う領主は 周囲からは悪鬼と恐れられていた 彼は禍々しいアバターを常に纏っていた リーパーでもないのに己の強大な魔力で 妖異を魂ごと縛り付けていた その妖異は元は領主のお気に入りの召使の一人だった 腕のいい狩人として主に仕え、頻繁に夜の相手もしていた （特に容姿端麗（褐色肌）で身体の柔軟性が高く、どの体位も出来た） 主の命により長旅に出た彼は 行先で出会った貧民の娘と恋に落ち、子供も設ける ミッションを終えた彼は領地に戻り 妻子を正式な家族として認めて欲しいと訴えた 主は激怒し、彼の目の前で妻子を斬り捨てる そして彼も殺し、束縛の呪いをかける 死んだ肉体は悍ましい妖異と変化し、主に跪く 狂気じみた笑みを浮かべ、彼を纏う主 「貴様は私のモノだ、骨の髄までな」 彼の精神は僅かに残っていたが 強大な呪いの力により主の僕となるしかなかった （領主の舐めプによりあえて生前の魂を少し残した） 夜な夜な生前の姿に戻されると、 肉体は主のされるがままに無様に犯され 精神も胸が悪くなるような汚言で尊厳を踏みにじられる 妖異の彼の僅かに残った精神に とてつもない憎悪が蓄積されていき、 比例するようにその姿はどんどん禍々しいものになっていった 遂に憎しみが溢れた時、彼は魂の束縛を破り主を惨殺する 領主を殺した妖異の討伐を頼まれたヒカセン（エレオス） 禍々しい魔物の前で過去視始まる 家族で幸せそうな彼の生前の姿 斬り捨てられる彼の妻子と彼 妖異に変化させられる彼の姿 憎悪に溢れた妖異の彼が主を殺す場面 ヒカセンは討伐を躊躇する 「オワラセテ…クレ…」 妖異は一切の抵抗をせず、苦悩の表情のヒカセンに斬られる エーテルが飛散し、一つの塊になる そこに二つの魂が寄り添い、三つの光は天に還って行った 今度はみんな一緒に…どうか幸せに… 心の中で祈りを捧げるヒカセン おわり 妖異のデザイン ベースはラーテル 腰がくびれて手足が長く細い 手足でかくて爪がめっちゃ長い 捩れた角が頭から4本 互い違いの長い牙 瞼は縫われている 鋼鉄の口輪を嵌められ、何本もの鎖がつながっている 背骨が飛び出した皮膜の翼 皮膚はボロボロで破れている

Trust more times than not is a mutual thing and when I distrust people that may be directly as a result of my own distrust in them. I should never have been driven to try and justify my own fears of those I love or that I care about by invasively dredging up their personal worst mistakes Infront of them as if they have never once felt regret. Regardless of how bad their choices were it was never my position to be a judge and jury. I have acted entitled, I have expected too much simply because of my own trust in people. My trust in people does not entitle me to their loyalty. Butting heads and losing trust in people I know because they did not follow the same intense moral expectations I set myself is immature and depending on what it is, it's absolutely ridiculous, as is putting a magnifying glass to their choices in the first places. I have no right to come to conclusions about other people's choices and condemn them for them especially when I do not know why they made them. I have not walked a mile in their shoes, for all I know they made their decisions for reasons not too in-similar to mine, they could be personal, or they could be far too complex for me to understand. To build on this, I have treated people close to me badly because of my inability to realise when I think that they don't care about me it hurts them. My fears that people do not care about me is often so inaccurate that it greatly hurts those that do. My actions in response to that will frequently contribute to that becoming a reality. As they realise my trust in them has broken down they may feel betrayed and reflect that and from my perspective it will look as if they have always lied about their care for me when in reality it was me that greatly contributed to that breakdown in trust. For me to recognise this so late is no-ones fault and if it really is anyone's then it is my own, my actions and choices are my responsibility, we all learn things at different rates and it is not other people's responsibility to recognise and help me understand my own actions. Also I apologise for the way I write, it is like a condensed brick of feelings and thoughts. I recognise assaulting people with thought bricks is also a problem of mine, should really give more people time to process and understand my thoughts over time rather than condensing it into a brick and thundercunting it at them, expecting them to understand and getting irritated when they don't. Before this trains rolls a little far off the tracks it is fundamentally important I make something known, I'm sorry to those I have hurt unjustly and my discontentment towards anyone I have hurt has all but evaporated. I have recognised my failures clearly, however, all though I am changing the way I go about things I my boundaries will remain the same. I will make sure not to act without thought like I have previously but If I know someone is being hurt I will not hesitate to step in immediately, regardless of if I believe someone else might do it instead, this depends on context and the environment. Sometimes it is not my place to do that and I will take more care to recognise that. The last thing I said might seem unrelated but it has affected some of my decisions lately and I have gotten carried away trying to do the right thing without considering if my actions are truly needed. That being said, being afraid of confrontation does not align with my personal values and I will not hesitate to confront a problem if I am required to. Some will see this as barbaric and I understand that, it is why some people would shy away from that but it has resulted in me actually saving lives on multiple occasions and so it is not something I will change. I greatly prefer to be someone that takes immediate initiative. I will continue to communicate properly with those I care about and make sure I will do what I can to support them but now I will take extra care to make sure I do it while respecting and understanding their boundaries and taking them seriously if they are going down a road that worries me. If you believe any of my thoughts here aren't grounded or reasonable you are welcome to talk to me about it here or on another platform, even if you do not know me, being challenged on my ideas is integral to my improvement.

Trust more times than not is a mutual thing and when I distrust people that may be directly as a result of my own distrust in them. I should never have been driven to try and feed my own fears of those I love or that I care about by invasively dredging up their personal worst mistakes Infront of them as if they have never once felt regret. Regardless of how bad their choices were it was never my position to be a judge and jury. I have been entitled, I have expected too much simply because of my own trust in people. My trust in people does not entitle me to their loyalty. Butting heads and losing trust in people because they did not follow the same intense moral expectations I set myself or because they have made mistakes or choices I did not agree with is immature and depending on the context absolutely ridiculous. I have no right to come to conclusions about other people's choices and condemn them for them especially when I do not know them enough to know why they made them, I have not walked a mile in their shoes, for all I know their decisions for reasons not too in-similar to mine, personal, or they could be far too complex for me to understand. To build on this, I have treated people close to me so badly because of my inability to realise when I worry that they don't care about me affects people I care about and my fears that people do not care about me may be so inaccurate that it greatly hurts those that do. My actions in response to that will contribute to that becoming a reality as they realise my trust in them has broken down they too may follow that and from my perspective it will look as if they have always lied about their care for me when in reality it was me that greatly contributed to that breakdown in trust. For me to recognise this so late is no-ones fault and if it really is anyone's then it is my own, my actions and choices are my responsibility, we all learn things at different rates and it is not other people's responsibility to recognise and help me understand my own actions. Also I apologise for the way I write, its like a condensed brick of feelings and thoughts, I recognise assaulting people with thought bricks is also a problem of mine, should really give more people time to process and understand my thoughts over time rather than condensing it into a brick and thundercunting it at them, expecting them to understand and getting irritated when they don't. Before this trains rolls a little far off the tracks it is fundamentally important I make something known, I'm sorry to those I have hurt unjustly and my discontentment towards those I have hurt has all but evaporated and I have recognised my failures clearly, however, all though I am changing the way I go about things I my boundaries will remain the same. If I believe someone is being hurt I will make sure not to act without thought like I have previously but I will not hesitate to step in immediately, regardless of if I believe someone else will do it instead, this depends on context and the environment. Sometimes it is not my place to do that but and in future I will consider this. Being afraid of confrontation does not align with my personal values and I will not hesitate to do so if I am required to. Some will see this as barbaric and I understand that, it is why some people would shy away from that but it has resulted in me actually saving lives on multiple occasions and so it is not something I will change. I will continue to communicate properly with those I care about and make sure I will do what I can to support them if they are going down a road that worries me but now I will do it while respecting and understanding their boundaries and taking them seriously like they deserve to be, with respect. If you believe any of my thoughts here aren't grounded or reasonable you are welcome to talk to me about it here or on another platform, even if you do not know me, being challenged on my ideas is integral to my improvement.

Rep Adam Smith: 150 school girls killed in an American airstrike on Iran. That was 80 days ago. This administration still has not taken responsibility for it. I pressed Pentagon officials directly: acknowledge the mistake. Instead, I got evasion. The investigation is ongoing. It's complex. We'll get back to you. I also asked a simple question: is "no quarter" consistent with the law of armed conflict? The admiral wouldn't answer that either. And then there's the president. He has repeatedly told the American public that Iran agreed to give up their nuclear weapons. That the Strait of Hormuz is open. That we won. None of it is true. So I asked the officials in front of me: is the president misinformed, or is he just making it up? They told me the president has the best information available to any head of state. Then why does he keep getting it wrong? The Strait is not open. Iran has not given up their nuclear weapons. Pretending otherwise in a public hearing doesn't help our credibility. It destroys it.

I figure it might be a good idea to introduce myself properly, my name is Sapphire, I was born in southhampton in 2005 in england and I was born into a family with very little money, I was diagnosed with autism in my younger years, I spent a lot of my free time as a child outside and going between my mothers place and my fathers place, I did not stay in one place for a very long time and never had much of a chance to set any roots until moving to hampshire some time between 2010-2025. During this time I took a really big interest in artwork and human expression, I was massively rambunctious and was violently resistant to every type of authority in a kind of fashion that was hard to miss, in primary school I dragged a bin full of crappy crumpled up disposable plastic cups and threw them onto the floor of my head teachers office, convincing them that week to switch to reusable cups which they did. After completing primary school and moving again I slowly started to develop PTSD from my extreme home life, I dragged through secondry school, spending most of my time depressive, not paying attention and sleeping through my classes, I got my first computer thanks to a charity for young autistic people that gives out computers and money called the family fund. Over my time in secondry school I got a few computers from the family fund, all of very minimal spec, during year 10 I started a computer science course and art and design course in my school as part of curriculum, using what I learned from my computer science course I messed with the computers I had, taking them apart and building a better one with the parts I had from them, I also learned to sauder motherboards when fixing a faulty connection on an old turtle beach headset my dad had. I found an interest in computer science and started learning on my own, eventually quitting computer science at school due to being targetted by one of the teachers who took his anger out on me after his wife cheated on him. I got better at what I was doing, eventually getting enough money saved up to build my own computer from scratch, even repairing a cpu in the process after I broke it. During this time I got my first drawing tablet, learning to draw digitally and animate which was a skill I developed from this point forward. I learned some python, started writing stories and aspiring to build games, during free time I spent a lot of it obsessed with video games, taking a particular liking to subnautica and starbound, studying both as my focuses during my art course. my sense my fashion began to change as I got older, starting out with techwear and slowly evolving into collecting sci fi and medievil style armor. During all this an infection in my ear progressed so badly I had to have an emergency surgery, the violent bullying that I recieved eventually causing my stitches to rupture slightly and losing my hearing in that ear forever. This was around the time of the release of the quest 2 where I got one not long after release thanks to my mother and my father pouring what little money they had to get it for me despite their diffirences. I discovered vrchat and began creating avatars and using 3D software for the first time, finding a huge interest in it and the unity engine, beggining to use both and finding comfort in the vr space where I could hide from my life. I was then temporarily put into a private fostering arrangement for 6 months in dorset where I explored full body tracking solutions, I tried an xbox kinekt and even made a homemade mocap setup which worked even better. I eventually returned back home to hampshire, continuing to develop all of the skills I had started to develop over time. I continued through school, doing my exams and struggling to revise, finding my first boyfreind during this, I barely scraped by on my exams and during the last of them that boyfriend made an attempt on taking my life in the school field. The police got involved but due to the high stress and pressure during that time I was forced to shrug it off and keep moving. I eventually finished secondry school, not passing in a lot of my subjects with the exception of sciences and art, I moved onto college where I did computer sciences and cyber security for 2 months due to not having the grades to do game dev. Some of the teachers from my secondry school came together to push a re-mark of my tests, eventually getting them to a pass just barely in which I abandoned my comp and cyber security course to do media production which I got a distinction and impressed most of the faculty with my VFX, writing, set design and acting skills. Halfway through that course I discovered NeosVr where I spent a lot of my free time to escape from my esculatingly bad home life. somewhere during this time I began to develop psychosis but I pushed forward, eventually finishing that course like I said. I then moved onto game development, doing a level 3 extended course, I met a partner and my alchoholic step father was kicked out of the home after I had a fist fight with him, things were looking better. 3 weeks later my step father was found dead in his apartment hung by a belt and his family refused to let me attend the funeral. Not long later my grandfather also died from cancer, my mother quickly finding a new partner after the loss of my step father and I had frequent arguments with her new partner as he was very cocky and believed he had some kind of power over me, threatening me with violence and destruction of my property over whatsapp. I stayed outside the house, standing there and refusing to eat or drink, turning my back to the house until she set boundries and disallowed him from trying to force me to "be his friend" he came outside the house multiple times to harass me, in which I made fun of him to his face and he recorded me with his phone. he took the recordings back to the house and him and my mother laughed at me and the recordings, I did not return to the house, I stayed outside all night, eventually she called the police and they tried to force me home, I returned home begrudgingly. Later at 17 years old I moved in with my boyfriend where I was belittled and made fun of by him for my outlook on life and my stubborness, the relationship was difficult but it allowed me to learn how to communicate better and how to be nicer to people. Thanks to Personal independence payments and universal credit I was able to move out into my own place by rending a room, first place the landlord was overly attatched so I left, second place the landlord was unwell and tried to violently break into my room during my sleep over an unemptied dishwasher. I then moved in with my dungeons and dragons host where I took up tabletop warhammer and got quite comfortable for a while, eventually moving out into an apartment of my own and stopped doing warhammer. during all this I BARELY scrape a pass on my first year of college, not visiting resonite at all during this time and eventually working from home as my ptsd developed to unmanagble levels, I would intermittently become scared and delusional, hiding, horrified and curled up in corners and wouldnt be able to look after myself properly long term, my friend from college would intermittently visit me to try make sure I was okay but the state of my life was depressing at best. I started to get better and my resolve returned to me, me and my friend founding an indie studio called catscratch interactive and working on games together, I took this very seriously and worked tirelessly, building a following and a community where I took on developers and worked as a team lead for a year, completing my 2nd year of university and securing my diploma and becoming a qualified game developer. after this I lived quietly on benefits on my own for 6 months, working as team lead, I eventually began to struggle to support myself and despite the positive experiences held by everyone at catscratch we all decided to disband the indie studio, wishing eachother luck on our journeys. My father, previously unpresent in my life during all of this, came and bothered me constantly about university, eventually pestering me to move away to dorset to study at my dream university which is where I am now. Due to my difficult case of estrangement I struggled to secure my student loan, living entirely on personal independence payments and without my previously established support network that was now very far away I barely had enough money to eat and often times went without food. I saught emotional support in the people I used to know from NeosVR, making my situation worse. My PTSD progressed and I began to have siezures, I developed an alchohol problem to try and deal with the intense hardship and I did not attend my university despite living on campus. I took a time to pause and look at my situation, not knowing what to do, it was the first time in my life where I genuinely saw no way forward, I hated the person I had become and as a result almost went the way of my stepfather. I hopped directly on to Resonite (NeosVR's rebrand) which I had visited a few times before but this time I stuck arround, exploring the community and coming to know people, making friends and slowly recovering. Eventually I met a specific small community of creative people that took me in and chose to support me, really just be being there for me and this got me off alchohol, it helped me to become stable again and I began to grow as a person again, slowly regaining the skills I had developed over the years. I began to work alongside them with a renewed creative potential, making connections all across the resonite community and becoming a new and nicer person, helping everyone I came across in any way I could. That is where I am now, I'm hoping to reach my potential and attend my university more now, esspecially with my recent temp ban from resonite which will allow me to focus on that.

Russia may be preparing a new offensive against northern Ukraine, including the Chernihiv region and the capital Kyiv, potentially with deeper involvement from Belarus, President Volodymyr Zelensky said May 20. The warning reflects growing concerns in Kyiv that Moscow could seek to open a new front north of the capital while involving Belarus — Russia's close ally bordering Ukraine to the north — more directly in the war. "Together with our military leadership, intelligence services, the Security Service of Ukraine, and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, we discussed in detail the latest developments along the Belarus-Bryansk region direction," Zelensky said in his evening address. "It is precisely from there that the Russians are considering scenarios for additional attacks against Ukraine – targeting our northern regions, our Chernihiv-Kyiv direction." Zelensky said Ukraine had already issued military orders to strengthen defenses in the region and was taking broader preventive measures. "Of course, we are already working to strengthen our defenses in this area. Relevant instructions have been issued to the military command, but separately, we are also taking preventive steps regarding both Belarus and designated parts of Russia from which the threat originates," he said. NATO Secretary-General Mark Rutte said on May 20 that if Russia uses nuclear weapons against Ukraine, the reaction from NATO will be "devastating". Russia and Belarus have begun joint nuclear weapons drills amid what Moscow described as the "threat of aggression," the Russian Defense Ministry said on May 19. The drills, scheduled to run through May 21, involve Russia's Strategic Missile Forces, the Northern and Pacific fleets, long-range aviation command, and units from the Leningrad and Central military districts, the ministry said. The exercises have added significance as they come amid growing warnings from Kyiv that Russia is trying to draw Belarus deeper into its war against Ukraine, while also expanding military infrastructure that could support future Russian operations against Ukraine or NATO's eastern flank. Rutte was asked by journalists at a pre-ministerial press conference at the Foreign Ministers Meeting of NATO about the possibility of a Russian nuclear strike. "Well, (Russia) knows if that happens, the reaction is devastating," Rutte said, adding that NATO was monitoring the exercises closely. The exercises include preparations for the use of nuclear forces and launches of ballistic and cruise missiles at test ranges within Russia, according to the ministry.Source-Kyiv Independent

Rep. Adam Smith: The Middle East is in chaos. The Strait of Hormuz is shut down. Gas prices are up $1.50. Inflation is the highest it's been in years. And this administration has no plan to fix any of it. Yesterday, I questioned military commanders at the House Armed Services Committee hearing about what is actually happening and what the strategy is to get us out of this hole. We have not set Iran's nuclear program back one single bit. They were actively negotiating over their nuclear weapons when this war started. Now they refuse to negotiate at all. That is not progress. That is a disaster. And the president's response? He fabricates victories. Four weeks ago, he announced Iran had "completely capitulated", that the war was over, the strait was open, and nukes were gone. None of it was true. He made it up. And now no one in the world believes a word we say. Every president before this one managed to prevent Iran from getting a nuclear weapon without dropping the Middle East into chaos. That used to be the bar. We are nowhere near it.

Rant about AI gaslighting: I am attempting to learn Schubert's Impromptus D. 899, Op. 90: No. 3 in G-Flat. I have listened to loads of lovely recordings. I came across a recording by François Chaplin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBYZ5JTfodU. I noticed a mistake in bar 76 (5:11). The (right hand) E is notated as double flat, but he plays E flat. It's quite jarring if you know the piece. I googled it out of interest/charity. Was there an alternative score that he used? I find it unusual for there to be such a mistake on a studio recording. And the response I get is just a load of AI crap. First, it was just 'hallucination'. Something about "textual alteration / misreading in the left hand at Bar 76" - I don't think there is any such mistake. The hallucination continues with the idea that the measure in question 'centers on an E-minor tonality' - no, it is B minor (and B major with Chaplin's mistake). Then there is irrelevant speculation about confusion between G major and Gb major editions. Chaplin is obviously on the Gb edition! The thing that struck me is that when I prompted further the AI seemed to go into not only hallucination, but 'gaslighting' mode. I said: "This has nothing to do with the two editions. I am talking about the Gb major edition. In the Urtext version, bar 76 has an e double flat. Does Chaplin play this as an e double flat, or is there a mistake?" The definitive reply from AI: "No, there is no mistake; François Chaplin plays the E double-flat exactly as written." Indeed, according to the AI I may just be perceiving it in an illusory way! It says "The Illusion: To the human ear, this abrupt chromatic dip can easily mimic the sound of a "wrong note" or a finger slip because it momentarily destabilises the peaceful G-flat major tonality." And I can't possibly have heard it as I claim, because, the AI assures me "Chaplin is known for his highly rigorous adherence to Urtext scores. In this recording, he executes the harmonic tension of that E [double flat] exactly as Schubert intended, without altering the text." WHAT THE FUCK! AM I GOING MAD? The message I am receiving is, no you are wrong/misperceiving - making me question my senses. #AI #AIMusic #Schubert #Gaslighting

Link to chat: https://share.google/aimode/2pgQpECk5hyJRGRLw


Its so hard to find the balance, knowing whats right, whats wrong and the nuance in-between it, when to love and when to hate, what it means to do the right thing and wether it makes you a good person. We live in such a complicated world where you could do everything wrong and still come out on top, you can be open, vulnerable, do everything right to the best of your ability and be violently stomped out by the ones you trusted the most It doesen't matter who you are, what you are, hatred will always find its way to you, within you and outside you, its everywhere, to love during all that is the hardest thing you can do, to forgive people feels like an impossible task and the reality is there is no benefit to doing so. I would never hurt another living thing, not when I have a choice and even when I feel like I don't I will still do my best, it is hard to do that in life, it goes against everything we are, our history, our biology and the natural way our mind will go in our lowest moments. If you can do that too, you wont be praised for it, people wont even look your way and see hope, you fade into the almost never-ending ever-growing crowd. When everyone is drowning some people find it easiest to become sharks and a lot of them will never realise that's what they are because you'll only ever see your reflection on the water when you're still trying to stay above it. Do I hate them? No, I'm just sad to lose them and the fact I'll never be able to remember the best of who they were before I saw just how bad they could be, I miss my friends, how I remembered them, I didn't know how to react. The truth is I could have stuck around and saw things through, tried again and again, and in the final moments of it all when I wanted so badly to see the truth I realised it is the same truth I had seen the whole time and If I had waited it out, it would have left me worse off. Even though I promised them I would stay I turned tail and ran and I regret it, even though to most that was the normal and sensible thing to do. Most people would have done it from the beginning that's not who I am and what I stand for. I used to be someone formidable in the face of adversity, I remember when I used to think I could do anything, when I was younger I believed I was strong and that I didn't suffer like other people but over the years I started to realise how damaged I was and how it effected my thinking and my health, recently I had my first Psychogenic non-epileptic seizure. There's a reason why there aren't many good people these days and if they are then they are blissfully ignorant of everything, the world will literally kill you if you aren't ready to lower your morals. If you're strong enough to speak out or if you dare show a moment of weakness people will just beat you within an inch of your life, they will take everything from you, they will leave you with nothing and the worst part is you'll blame yourself, you always do. I choose to push forward, I know it doesn't inspire those around me, I know it doesn't make me any better, I do not benefit from it, I have suffered for my honesty and my openness of who I am since I was born, I have suffered from trying to do the right thing again and again but it wont stop me, I don't know why I keep going, its not out of fear of the end, its not for some kind of benefit, There is no reason but at the same time I know I wont ever give up. Some day I'm going to die because of my choices, be it from the slow decline of my health because of my body destroying itself with stress hormones or because I speak up a little too loud. Just know I'll be here, I'll still be trying to do the right thing and I'll promise to let you know you're not insane for how you feel. In your darkest moments even if you feel wrong, even if you don't think you'll be okay in the end, I'll be there, flaws and all, not for glory but just for the love of the game and I will try and help you, I will try to help you in the way no one ever helped me.

May 19th marks the four-year anniversary of my suicide attempt; it is an invisible mark I carry in shame and also a major turning point in my life. There was a cycle that I was aware of, with no idea how to break it or even how to talk about it with the friends I had at that time. The cycle was this: I would be happy and driven for two to three months, then drop into a depressive episode where I ultimately would need to be watched. I would talk with my friend, promise things, and then start to climb out of that hole, where I would wait for the collapse again. I know that was a recipe for disaster, and my truth and confidence in that were minuscule. May 19, 2022, fell on a Thursday, which was the day my best friend at the time would go over the hill to Boise because we lived in Emmett. I was just going through the motions and carrying a weight that they had seen too many times to count. We got home, and they were unable to get me to open up, so they said that I should go and stay the night with them. I refused because I wanted to be alone and work on my current video editing project. They didn't push, so I then went to work to distract my mind. An hour or so later, my mind snapped, and everything went numb. I do not remember swallowing the pills; I just remember feeling like I was waking up with an empty bottle in my hand. For a moment, I was worried about reaching out for help because I had refused to be under watch, but this was not planned. With shaky hands, I sent a Facebook message saying, "I'm sorry." Ten minutes later, we were headed back over to Boise, bound for the hospital. I don't think I was crying, but I cannot remember for sure. I just remember what was going on internally, which was fear and numbness. The ER was loud, and I had my headphones on while hugging my knees to my chest as we waited in a room. I remember having a seizure that lasted for a while. Tired and sick after being forced to eat activated charcoal, I was in the ER until very early Saturday morning. Once out of the ER and in the in-care room, there was someone in there with me 24/7. I was not allowed to write, but I could have music playing through my phone from the other side of the room. From early Saturday to Wednesday, one song played, and that was Caleb Hyles' cover of "Tell Your Heart to Beat Again." On Wednesday, I was allowed to add "Not My Own" and "Amber and Rain." I was told by my friend and a social worker that I would benefit from an inpatient stay in a psych unit. Terrified, I agreed and tried to keep an open mind about it. I was feeling fine, having done my normal bounce-back after a depressive episode, but I was in the hospital under watch, and I had noticed a shift in my friends. I had broken their trust. Of course, that was expressed days later. Friday evening was when my whole perspective changed: about myself, about my friends, and about the future. A bed at a psych unit had opened up. The man took my backpack and led me down to the car with window protection and a mesh barrier between the front and back. I felt diminished, regretting everything, and that was when the silence fell. I spoke only when spoken to. After intake, I was allowed to change back into my clothes, giving me some comfort, and though I had no music, but I had my notebook with a stub of a pencil. I went through about thirty over the course of my five-day stay. The security guard who did the intake said something that stuck with me, haunted me while I was in there, and still does four years later. "The doors are locked for your safety." Meant to sound comforting, but it just told me that I was trapped. I cried in the cafeteria and cried for the first time since it all started. I was also deemed a fall risk because of Cerebral Palsy, so again I was under 24/7 watch. There was something unsettling about being constantly watched. I opened my notebook the following morning and looked at the story I was working on. I couldn't bring myself to expose my creativity in that place, so I shut that part of myself off to protect what mattered to me. That created a painful void, and I became a shell of myself. I filled page after page with regret, self-analysis, and pleas to just go home and be with friends. While in there, I had forgotten how to talk. Getting my jaw to work was hard, and I spoke in whispered tones because I had no strength in my voice, no confidence in myself. Because of my silence and my preference to journal rather than engage with others, the doctor put a hold on me, which drove me further into myself. I refused to make friends or engage because I was terrified and plainly did not want to be there. Tuesday morning, when the doctor came in, he said that he had made a mistake with the hold and that I shouldn't have been there for that long. I was not a danger, just guilty of a horrible lapse in judgment, and I'd be going home the next day. That was the only time I felt something within the hollowness. I didn't show it externally, but inside it wasn't quite happiness, just a quiet understanding that I was a changed man and knew I needed to protect that. Admitting that place helped makes me nauseous and tearful because that is admitting that I failed on my own... I did. I had allowed so much to bottle up that my mind just snapped, and the go-to was a bottle of pills. I was more traumatized by that place, but it taught me that I can stand and survive on my own, and my wants and passions are never second to anyone. When it came to discharge day, what I had expected versus what actually happened just cemented a quiet truth within me. I had hoped for that moment to be a drop-everything moment, and for someone to come bring me home. My best friend said that they had just gotten back from Boise and were too tired, and everyone else was working. I was released at one, and it wasn't until four o'clock that an Uber came to take me home. Standing just inside the door with my bag slung over my shoulder, waiting with the security guard and an aide. The aide said something that has forever resonated with me. She looked at me and smiled, that careful, sympathetic smile. "Make sure your friends celebrate you." I mutely nodded, waiting for the transport. Once in the car, I sat in the back with headphones on and my bag clutched to my chest. I was dropped off and walked into a silent home, where I was greeted by my two fur babies. There was a slow but deliberate dismantling of friendships as I prioritized myself, learned to stand on my own two feet instead of striving to make others happy, and took to heart that I should seek validation not from others, but from myself. I think the reason this anniversary has hit harder than the others is because of the accomplishments I have achieved. What it took to reach this place in my life is a mark I still carry, as is the shame of the action that triggered change. Every word I write, every video I create, and every social interaction is meant with heart, passion, and care because I almost lost it all. I share this as another way to heal and to share my truth through my experience. Not perfect, or fleshed out, it is just what I want to share and can without disrupting my peace. I hope to help someone else through my story. Thank you for reading. ~Colston Alex Thief

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy commented on the large-scale overnight strikes on Moscow and the Moscow region, calling them a “fair response” to Russia’s continued attacks on Ukrainian cities and communities. According to Zelensky, the strikes demonstrated that even areas more than 500 kilometers from Ukraine’s border are no longer beyond the reach of Ukrainian drones and missiles. He said the attacks were meant to send a direct message to Vladimir Putin and the Russian leadership. “Our responses to the Russian prolongation of the war and strikes on our cities and communities are quite fair,” Zelensky wrote. “We are clearly telling the Russians: their state must end its war.” He also praised Ukrainian drone and missile developers, as well as the Security Service of Ukraine and the Ukrainian Defense Forces for the operation. The Ukrainian president added that Moscow’s heavy air defense concentration failed to fully protect the Russian capital from the strikes. Russian officials reportedly described the attack as one of the largest drone assaults on the Moscow region since the start of the full-scale war.

Trump officials plan to repeal limits on ‘forever chemicals’ in drinking water: EPA outlines effort to kill Biden-era rules The Trump administration has announced a plan to kill Biden-era drinking water limits on four Pfas “forever chemicals”, and to delay the implementation of standards for two other compounds. The Environmental Protection Agency is proposing two separate rules to delay and rescind the limits. The rules must go through an approval process that can take several years, and almost certainly will be challenged in court. The Trump administration’s plan comes just two years after the US Environmental Protection Agency set legally enforceable drinking water limits for six of the most dangerous Pfas compounds that have been studied. The chemicals include some of the most toxic substances, and are linked to a range of cancers and other serious health problems. The new Trump plan aims to undo or delay those limits, which public health advocates say would put the nation’s health at risk. Pfas are ubiquitous in the environment and estimated to be contaminating drinking water for more than 200 million people across the US. At the Monday press conference, the EPA administrator, Lee Zeldin, and US health secretary, Robert F Kennedy Jr, announced the new plan. “The Trump EPA is committed to Make America Healthy Again by ensuring clean air, land, and water – and by taking on Pfas the right way, across the full life cycle and built to last,” Zeldin said in a statement. PFAS are a class of at least 16,000 compounds most frequently used to make products water-, stain- and grease-resistant. They have been linked to cancer, birth defects, decreased immunity, high cholesterol, kidney disease and a range of other serious health problems. They are dubbed “forever chemicals” because they do not naturally break down in the environment. Public health advocates in 2024 hailed “historic” limits that would dramatically improve the safety of the nation’s water, and the rules marked the first time in 27 years the EPA had put in place new drinking water limits for contaminants. But the move was fiercely opposed by industry, including those now in leadership positions at the EPA. EPA officials said in 2024 that the limits would reduce Pfas exposure for 100 million people and help prevent thousands of illnesses, including fewer birth-weight related infant deaths, kidney-cancer deaths, bladder-cancer deaths and deaths from cardiovascular disease. Public health advocates on Monday condemned the EPA. “Zeldin and Kennedy are trying to sell potions out of the back of a covered wagon,” said Dr Anna Reade, director of Pfas advocacy at Natural Resources Defense Council. “The millions of Americans demanding safe drinking water are not going to fall for their hocus pocus.” The move is widely viewed as at odds with Donald Trump’s pledge to eliminate toxic chemicals from drinking water. Kennedy is a leader of the Make America Healthy Again (Maha) movement, of which eliminating toxic chemicals from food and water is a cornerstone. Maga and Maha have been at odds over the last year as the administration fails to follow through on many of its promises. Kennedy defended the delay and rescission of the limits at the press conference. “I’ve read articles in the corporate media that say we’re trying to roll back Pfas protections, but that’s not true,” Kennedy said. He said the administration was putting in place a “clean water mandate”. The agency in 2024 under Biden set limits of 10 parts per trillion (ppt) for any combination of three Pfas compounds, including PFNA, PfHxS, and HFPO dimer acid, more commonly called GenX. For any combination of those three compounds and PFBS, the agency set a variable limit. The administration is proposing new rules to rescind those limits and alleged that Biden’s EPA did not follow the correct legal process, moved too quickly in developing the limits, and that the limits would not survive a court challenge. The Trump EPA will “redo” the process to determine if limits should be set for the four chemicals, which Kennedy alleged would save time by avoiding litigation. EPA science showed that no level of exposure to Pfoa and Pfos in drinking water is safe, and the agency in 2022 set non-enforceable advisory health limits of 0.02 ppt and 0.004 ppt, respectively. The Biden administration in 2024 set drinking water limits of four ppt for the two compounds, in part because that is the level at which technology can reliably detect them. The EPA said it would give utilities two extra years, until 2031, to comply with the standards. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/may/18/trump-administration-epa-pfas-water

%30. 2024 yılında yapılan bir araştırmaya göre, LGBTQI+ gençlerin rekabetçi spor yapma oranı bu kadar. Tüm genç nüfus içinse bu oran yaklaşık %60. Oran yarı yarıya daha düşük. Bugün 17 Mayıs. Uluslararası Homofobi ve Transfobi Karşıtlığı Günü. 2026 teması: “Demokrasinin Kalbinde”. Demokrasi sadece yasaların söyledikleriyle sınırlı değil; kimin katıldığı ve kimin katılmasına izin verildiğiyle de ilgili. Spor, çoğu ülkenin en çok katılım gösterilen kamusal ritüeli. Bu nedenle bugün sorulması gereken soru basit: Kimler katılma hakkına sahip? LGBTQI+ gençler ve spor üzerine Avustralya’da yapılan 2024 araştırması, LGBTQI+ gençlerin %53'ünün ayrımcılığa tanık olduğunu ve %40'ının ayrımcılığa maruz kaldığını ortaya koydu. On yıl öncesine göre daha iyi, o zamanlar katılımcıların yaklaşık %80'i Avustralya sporunda homofobiye tanık olduğunu bildirmişti. Gerçek bir ilerleme. Ancak bu ilerleme herkese eşit şekilde ulaşmadı: Eşcinsel erkeklerin %76'sı hâlâ sporda homofobiye tanık olduklarını bildiriyor. On yılda belirgin bir iyileşme yok. Ve katılım açığı bunun bir sonucu: Eşcinsel erkeklerin sadece %31'i ve lezbiyenlerin %29'u rekabetçi spor yapıyor. LGBTQI+ olmayan gençlerin oranının yaklaşık yarısı. Bütün bir nüfus, toplumlarının sahip olduğu en erişilebilir demokratik alandan sessizce uzaklaştırılıyor. Konuyla ilgili en büyük Avrupa araştırması olan ve kıta genelinde 5.524 LGBTQI+ katılımcısı bulunan 2019 OutSport anketi, soyunma odası resmini tamamlıyor. LGBTQI+ bireylerin neredeyse %90'ı homofobi ve transfobinin sporda hâlâ güncel sorunlar olduğuna inanıyor. Erkek sporcuların yarısından fazlası (%54) son iki hafta içinde homofobik hakaretler kullandığını itiraf etti. %69'u takım arkadaşlarının hakaret kullandığını duydu. İki çalışma birlikte okunduğunda, iki bölümden oluşan bir hikaye anlatıyor. Görünürlük, Onur geceleri, açık kimlikli sporcular hakkındaki eğilimler gerçek. Savunulması gereken bir ilerleme var. Ve neredeyse hiçbir şeyin değişmediği bir taban daha var: Sıradan bir gecede duyulan bir hakaret, seçmelere gidemeyen veya sporu genç yaşta bırakan eşcinsel genç, federasyon web sitesindeki formda işaretlenecek bir kutucuğu olmayan trans çocuk. Evet, demokrasi tribünleri dolduranlardır. Ama demokrasi aynı zamanda sahaya hiç çıkamayanlardır. 🏳️‍🌈 #IDAHOBIT

今だから言えることなんですけど 1年目のころカラオケコラボでKICK BACKを歌ったときになんかどうにも歌が曲に負けてるな〜と感じたことがあって あの伊波ライの歌がですよ？1年目でも相当うまいと思った伊波ライの歌が曲に負けるってそうそうなくて、それだけKICK BACKという曲が難しいということでもあると思うんだけど、それから3年経つ今歌ったIRIS OUTがま〜〜〜〜じで伊波ライの色に染まってて、幕張の一万人の観客も沸きに沸いてて、この3年で伊波ライの歌はさらに磨かれまくったんやなあ〜と一人しみじみしてました、という話

WHY THE GREEN PARTY SHOULD STAND ASIDE IN MAKERFIELD I’m a Green Party member. I campaigned in Lewisham at the recent local elections and was ecstatic at the result, just as I was when Hannah Spencer won in Gorton & Denton. So why do I think that in Makerfield the Green Party should announce that if Andy Burnham stands we won’t be campaigning? The answer is quite simple. Unlike Gordon & Denton, where the Labour Party’s pathetic propaganda machine was insisting that only they could beat Reform, I do genuinely believe that (as long as Andy Burnham is selected as their candidate) it will be virtually impossible for the Green Party to win the seat. Whatever your opinions of him, it is undeniable that Andy Burnham is extremely popular in the North West. All the polling shows that he outperforms Labour by a mile. He is just about the only person who could win a seat for Labour at the moment, but I believe there is a very real chance that in Makerfield he will boost Labour’s vote significantly. And Makerfield is not Gorton & Denton. Looking at the 2024 General Election vote share, Reform is much stronger in Makerfield than in Gorton & Denton (31.8% v 14.1%). At the same time the Greens are much weaker (13.2% in Gorton & Denton in 2024, almost coming second – as opposed to 4.4% and fifth place in Makerfield). It may well be that, given the recent surge in popularity, the Greens would do significantly better in the upcoming by-election – but sadly all that would do is hand victory to Reform. Unlike in Gorton & Denton, there are simply not enough anti-Reform votes to be able to split the vote and still beat them. And let’s not fool ourselves. A win for Reform would be an utter disaster. Beating Andy Burnham would be their most high profile victory to date, and the momentum it would give them would further embolden them and make them seem unstoppable to many. They are already openly boasting about locking up thousands of people in migrant detention centres if they win the next election. We cannot allow that to happen. The simplest way to beat Reform at the next election is to do what should have been done decades ago – introduce PR. I have always argued for PR. It is the only fair voting system. The number of votes cast for each party should be reflected in the number of MPs that they get. If Reform get 26% of the votes, they should get 26% of MPs. That is the only democratic way of doing things. Andy Burnham has long been a supporter of a proportional representation. It is the single most important change that could happen in British politics. Therefore I believe that the Green Party should press Andy Burnham for two things: 1) A firm commitment to introduce PR 2) A pledge that if he is Labour leader, he will stop treating the Green Party as enemies who are as bad as Reform, and instead acknowledge that we are part of a broad progressive movement that will be needed to defeat Reform. If Burnham is prepared to do that, then I believe that the Green Party should announce that we will not be actively campaigning in Makerfield in order to increase his chances of beating Reform. I believe that such a move would have all sorts of positives. For one thing, the public at large would welcome it as a very different approach from the other parties, and it would actually boost the Greens’ popularity. More importantly, the alternative is too horrendous to contemplate. If the Greens do stand and the nightmare scenario unfolds – in other words Reform beat Labour thanks to the number of votes cast for the Green Party – then large numbers of people will be horrified at what we’ve done. Yes, of course it’s possible (maybe even probable!) that Andy Burnham might go back on any promises about PR and not demonising the Green Party – but then, if he does, the Greens can point to that as the reason why we will no longer cooperate, even in similar circumstances. And to be clear, I believe these are very exceptional circumstances. For example, if there’s a contest for the Manchester Mayor, I believe the Green Party should campaign wholeheartedly, and may very well win. Luckily the First Past The Post system doesn’t apply in mayoral contests now, so there is actually no danger of letting Reform in – but even if there had been, then in the Mayoral contest I think that is a chance we would have had to take, and hopefully as in Gordon & Denton, we would have come top anyway. To sum up: If, like me, you believe that there is very little to zero prospect of the Green Party actually winning in Makerfield, then the choice is simple. Either Reform win, with all the appalling consequences which that entails – or Andy Burnham wins, bringing about the downfall of Keir Starmer, which even on its own has to be a good thing, no matter how many of his promises Andy Burnham goes back on! Sometimes politics is about real choices. We have a real choice in Makerfield and I think the Green Party would be foolish to try to win at the risk of enabling a Reform victory. Pete Sinclair, May 2026

Tolstoy considered "A Calendar of Wisdom" to be his greatest work. Today's entry asks us to consider the harm that can result from the most offhand untruths: "One of the most common mistakes is to think that you can live without truth. The inner and outer consequences of even the smallest lies are usually more harmful than those small unpleasant things which result from telling the truth directly."

This weekend I played in the Spotlight Series London where I finished 73th with a record of 9-6. My deck choice: I chose to play GW Landfall because the deck looked very powerful at the PT and after playing it a bit online I had a good feeling about it. I also chose this deck because it pushed me out of my comfort zone as a Magic player. I’m a player who likes to feel that I have agency in my games. That’s why I often play Blue/Red decks that see a lot of cards over the course of a game. But this deck is a Green/White deck that plays almost entirely with its opening hand. That meant I had to be more demanding with my mulligans because seeing fewer cards during games also means fewer opportunities to improve my hand. This wasn’t easy for me since I’m someone who doesn’t like mulliganing much. It also means that since I have access to fewer resources during games I need to make sure every resource is used to its fullest. I can’t afford to have my most important spell countered by something like Quench, for example. I’m someone who can sometimes get frustrated with Magic if I feel like I don’t have agency in my games and that I rely too much on my topdecks and my opponent’s topdecks. However that feeling isn’t very rational. If I want to win at Magic the frustration a deck causes me shouldn’t be a factor. Ideally, I shouldn’t feel frustrated playing these “low agency” decks. By trying to play this deck I worked on the frustration I can feel when playing Magic. I tried to more easily accept mulliganing and losing certain games with little agency. My goal is to win at Magic and if that means playing this kind of deck I need to be able to do it. Of course the best outcome is to not feel frustrated playing these decks and to accept both their strengths and their weaknesses. I’m happy because this weekend I only got frustrated once after a game of Magic and it was more related to my opponent’s deck than mine. I also made good mulligan decisions. So I think playing this deck helped me become a better Magic player and I’ll try to play this kind of deck again in the future if possible. Decklist: For the decklist I took something close to the PT deck list and tuned it to beat the mirror. I expected a lot of landfall this weekend and it was surprisingly not the case. I played the 2 Icetill because it is really good in the mirror, it enables Hydra and helps you to hit land drops after a tough mulligan. I played 2 Hydra main and 2 Hydra side for the mirror. I chose to play 1 Surrak main because it was really good against interactive decks. In my sideboard I choose to play 2 Voice over the Kutzil, Malamet Exemplar because I think it fit the curve better. Main Event: Day 1: Round 1: I play against Izzet Lessons. In game 1 he goes Gran-Gran T1 and completely destroys me. In game 2 and 3 I play an early RIP and win the game. Win 2-1 I am now at 2-0 Round 2: I am against Izzet Prowess. My opponent doesn't play very well but he has 2 very good draws and I have 2 rather weak draws and he beats me 2-0 easily. I don't get too beat up and just focus on the rest of the tournament. Lose 0-2 I am now at 1-1 Round 3: I play against Izzet Lessons. In game 1 I have the giga nuts on the play. I go chocobo t1 my opponent goes Gran-Gran. I go t2 Chocobo fetch and keep both of my 2/3 as blockers. She then goes t2 Artist Talent. I then go t3 play fetch play Cub and earthbend the Fetch. Fetch and attack for 10 with my Chocobo. My opponent draws for the turn and then concedes. In game 2 I cast a Dyadrime with only 2 Hushwood Verge (2 green mana) and my opponent Quench it. After her draw I realize that I couldn't cast it and call a Judge. The judge rules that we keep the game in the same state since me having the info on the Quench and keeping my creature in hand is better for me than for her. I still manage to win the game but it doesn't feel super good since I shouldn't have been able to cast my Dyadrime. I still would have played around quench on t2 Whatsoever. I played Elve turn 1 and she didn't kill it so I am pretty sure she had Quench on 2. I played Dyadrime + second Elve on turn 2 but if I saw that I couldn't cast Dyadrime I just would have played Elve. I stay locked in on my tournament and try not to think too much about a game that never happened but still feel bad for my opponent. Win 2-0 I am now at 2-1 Round 4: I am against Izzet Prowess. Game 1 I mulligan to 4 and feel like it will be really hard to win but my hand is a Forest 2 Chocobos and a fetch. I go Chocobo into Chocobo fetch. Then draw Dyadrine cast it for 3 and start to draw 2 each turn. My opponent casts some cantrips, does nothing and dies (nice agency). Game 2 My opponent surprises me with Sunderflock (thank you closed decklist day 1) and I lose Game 3 I side in Rip and I draw it but 1 turn too late. Lucky for me I have a removal for the crab. I kill the crab, exile his graveyard and win. Win 2-1 I am now at 3-1 Round 5: I am against Mono-G Landfall. Game 1 I mull to 6 and keep a hand that misses a piece to be good in the mirror (thank you close deck list) and lose. Game 2 I win easily as my opponent mulligans to 5. Game 3 I missequence my triggers and almost lose the game but I do good blocks and attacks to win the game. Win 2-1 I am now at 4-1 Round 6: I am against Izzet Prowess. I lose game 1 against a strong draw but win game 2 and 3 thanks to my sideboard. Win 2-1 I am now at 5-1 For the first time in this kind of event I play a win and in before the last round. I often lose early and then make a big comeback at the end (3-4 wins in a row) to make day 2. But this time I can play 3 win and in for day 2, let's get it. Round 7: I am against Izzet Prowess. I lose game 1 against a strong draw but win game 2 and 3 thanks to my sideboard. In game 3 I know my opponent has Get Out and play around it well. At some point I cast Surrak and he tries to Get Out Surrak because he didn't know Surrak's first line of text and I win thanks to that. I made day 2 in round 7, let's go. Win 2-1 I am now at 6-1 I am happy I made day 2 but I have to stay locked in. My goal is to make top 8 and qualify for the PT and for that I need a lot more wins. Round 8: I play against 4c Control. Game 1 he controls me and I lose. Game 2 I kill him thanks to Ba Sing Se and Surrak, which draws me 3 cards Game 3 I misplay and forget a trigger of Surrak when my opponent bounces my Harmonizer on the stack with Jeskai Revelation (I thought it triggered only when he counters my creature spells but it is when he targets). I probably lose the game because of that but well. Lose 1-2 I am now at 7-1 Round 9: I play against Jeskai Control. Game 1 he controls me and I lose. Game 2 I understand that he doesn't have a wrath and all in the board and kill him quickly Game 3 he floods a lot and I kill him. Win 2-1 I am now at 7-2 I feel pretty happy with my day 1 and go eat with my friends. We almost all made day 2 and the mood was good at dinner. Day 2: Round 10: I play against Dimir Excruciator. I lose game 1 because he controls me. In game 2 I put too much pressure and kill him with Snakeskin as protection. Game 3 He wraths me but I kill him with Harmonizer crewing Lumbering Worldwagon for more than 20 damage. Win 2-1 I am now at 8-2 Round 11: I play against a friend on Izzet Prowess. He has the nuts game 1 and wins easily. Game 2 I have a super strong start but my hand falls off rapidly. I win thanks to Ba Sing Se. Game 3 My hand doesn't line up very well and I miss my 4th land drop. I also was probably not patient enough on my removal on an otter token. Lose 1-2 I am now at 8-3 Round 12: I play against Temur Lessons. He goes Gran-Gran T1 on the play and completely destroys me in G1 In game 2 he also goes Gran-Gran T1 but I have Rip T2 and my draw is pretty strong so I quickly win. In game 3 He again goes for Gran-Gran T1. Lucky for me I have Rip against it. We then play a super close game that I end up losing. Lose 1-2 I am now at 8-4 Round 13: I play against Izzet Lessons. I destroyed him in both games dealing him 20 points of damage with the Chocobo that I played on turn 1 each game. Win 2-1 I am now at 9-4 Round 14: I play against Selesnya Ouroboroid. In game 1 he kills me 1 turn before I kill him because I am on the draw. In game 2 we both sit on removals but my Icetill and Ba Sing Se make a lot of card advantage and I win a grindy game. In game 3 it is a topdeck game where I am the beatdown and he is at 5 life but he out topdecks me and I lose. Lose 1-2 I am now at 9-5 I am now playing a win and in for top 64 and 350$ Round 15: Game 1 my opponent mulls to 5 but draws perfectly and wins. Game 2 I play very well around his 2 Slagstorm thanks to Earthbender Ascension and easily win. Game 3 my opponent out tempos me and drew his 4 Slickshot Show-Off in his top 12. My 2 removals were not enough. Lose 1-2 I am now at 9-6 After this game I was a bit frustrated. I felt like my opponent had a weak sideboard plan/decklist but got really lucky and won anyway. But anyway it is Magic and sometimes it also happens, nothing to be sad about. Final Thoughts: Although I feel a bit disappointed with my final result after being 7-2 at the end of day 1 I am still happy with my result. I think playing GW Landfall was a good choice and the deck felt really strong. I learned a lot of things thanks to this tournament and I had a lot of fun with my friends. It was a great weekend overall.

So I was in a psychiatric hospital for ten days in March 2025. My wife told me she wanted a divorce. We had been growing apart for a while and I was developing severe psychiatric ailments so I wasn't as tuned into the situation as I should have been. I want to open this story by stating that my soon to be ex-wife and I still love each other. This isn't a story of animosity or anything: life just keeps happening and people grow apart. What really instigated it was after us talking about divorce and the future was her going to stay at her brother's place for a week to pet sit and also get some needed space. That left me alone with my thoughts. So Sunday I'm by myself drinking heavily and I decide to throw NyQuil and Benadryl into the mix. To this day I'm not sure if I'd call it a focused suicide attempt: I wasn't thinking about dying or anything. I just wanted to feel less if that makes sense. I wanted to numb myself. Luckily I still had enough sense to realize I had made a grave error and called 988 which I cannot stress enough is a life saver. The operator was so kind, patient, and gracious even though the emergency response took about an hour (I was alert and oriented so an ambo isn't necessarily gonna consider me high priority.) The first responders to show up were sheriffs which bothered me a bit: I was pretty clear I needed medical care but upon reflection I understand with mental crises LEO has to show up. Medics don't know if I'm agitated and showing violent behavior. In any case, the sheriffs were pretty cool if a little stupid: they were confused why I needed an ambulance because I kept saying it wasn't a suicide attempt even though I did something suicidal. Eventually, the sheriffs decided to put me under an emergency detention order which is similar to a Baker Act: authorities are concerned I'm a danger to myself or others. They're nice about it and ride with me in the ambo. I remember the older deputy telling the younger one he'll write the paperwork since it'd be his first EDO but it's good because I'm cool and not being violent. I get to the hospital and the emergency mental health nurse talks to me. After our talk she tells me I'm going to be committed and it's a question of voluntary or involuntary. If I go voluntary I'm more likely to get out faster but if I fight that'll come into play. I agree to go voluntary but ask her to not tell my wife and the nurse goes "Hell no, I'm not doing that to her: you're not thinking straight. She needs to know." It came across as harsh at the time but she was right: I remember later my wife saying when the hospital called she thought I was dead and that's horrifying to recall. I was at the hospital for maybe a few hours before I got transferred to the psych hospital. I was first put in what's called the PICU or psychotic intensive care unit. My understanding is in cases like mine where there's some kind of suicide attempt they put you there until you can get properly assessed: your privileges are heavily restricted. Later I'd actually come to miss PICU because while you couldn't do a lot they gave you way more smoke breaks than in a high-functioning unit. No one in PICU appeared outwardly psychotic just a lot of hard addiction cases. I first got evaluated by a nurse who seemed like a really great guy. However, he told me he "used to be gay" but used psychology and religion to get past it. Man, I felt so bad for him after that: I hate that people are afraid and ashamed of who they are. He did give me some great opening advice to participate and take advantage of the help that was offered and to also set goals and when they were achieved to set better goals. Initially for me this was with exercise: I started doing push-ups, sit-ups, and jumping jacks while I was committed. That first conversation I had with my wife that day via phone was tough. I was still trying to obfuscate what was going on mostly out of embarrassment but I couldn't flat out lie to her: I was committed to a psychiatric hospital. I told her I'd check in with her but to be honest I hated doing it. I was just overwhelmed with shame. I also talked to my work supervisor who was an angel during this time: she told me to do what I need to do and don't worry about work. To this day she is still the only person at my job who knew the full story: she told her bosses what they needed to know but never completely aired my business and I'm eternally grateful for that. Eventually after a day I'm transferred out of PICU into what is considered a high-functioning ward. It's a bit of a misnomer; while PICU has criminals with pending charges that have psychiatric issues, the ward I was in also had similar patients including a transient young man who was being held there for evaluation due to a laundry list of sex crimes with minors (we'll come back to him later). I was bunked with a patient who had extreme depression; he was the only person in the ward that was getting ECT (electroconvulsive therapy). It was kind of a blessing: he was quiet and I was quiet and we got along OK. For the first few days I had to learn the routine. Meals, smoke breaks, group therapy. Each weekday I would also talk to a psychiatrist who managed medication and evaluated how I was doing. The first few days were rough for a lot of reasons: I had to figure how to take short-term disability leave under the FMLA and then further figure out how to get compensated under my work policies for it. I also had to explain to the hospital that as I am the primary household member who pays bills I needed access to my phone for a few minutes a day to manage our finances. You are not allowed phones typically in a psychiatric hospital, but I was persuasive enough that they gave me about 10 minutes a day. The hospital staff were generally pretty chill. I never bad problems with anyone and on the few occasions I had a full on breakdown they were extremely comforting and helpful. The group therapy counselor was also good; however, I didn't like the worksheets. It felt like homework and kind of an impersonal way to approach someone. There were always at least one but usually two students in group therapy I assume to get hours to go towards their counseling degree or certification, but they were generally also cool. I quickly made some friends on the ward. I'm gregarious by nature: I like talking to people and I like making friends. The two closest friends I had on the ward was a white working class guy in his thirties with a wife and a few kids who I'll call Adam, and a black lady in her early 20s who was a homeless sex worker that I'll call Betty. I'm not gonna get into their problems even though I'm aware of them, and I only mention their backgrounds to demonstrate the range of people who were in the hospital. Later in my stay we'd widen our group with a Latina bank manager. I myself am a highly paid white collar worker in the insurance industry. Everyone has problems. Early on most of the ward was pretty chill. There were occasional problems: patients getting violent with themselves or acting out in common spaces. We had TVs and generally the room voted on what they wanted and it was a mix of either music channels or movies. Sometimes the room would vote on a movie and it would disturb or upset a patient who had a particular problem with the content. The staff would immediately cut it off: it wasn't worth the trouble. Other than the TVs and therapy there wasn't much to do. We had a pretty early lights out with final medications being given out at 8PM. A game my impromptu crew and I began to play is starting a game of Monopoly immediately after taking our nightly meds and seeing how far we could get before becoming so zooted we couldn't finish. It was silly; we knew we couldn't actually finish the game on our meds but the game wasn't about playing Monopoly but a kind of endurance test to see how long we could maintain a kind of sharpness needed to play Monopoly and the first person to crash out lost. Meds Monopoly led me to a flash of inspiration. I read an article maybe ten or fifteen years prior that had always stuck with me about how tabletop RPGs are played in prison given the limitations. I realized I could run a game making a sort of bootleg/improv system using six-sided dice from Monopoly. I pitched it to my group expecting a muted interaction but instead got enthusiasm. Even the staff and counselors were intrigued by this, but that always surprised me. Role-playing has a lot of influence from psychological treatment (please read "The 50-Minute Hour" which is on the Internet Archive. This book was written in the 1950s and features a story about a nuclear physicist who developed a rich fantasy that he was actually a starship captain. The psychologist decides to join him in the fantasy and winds up enjoying this collaborative roleplay. Eventually the physicist admits he knows it's not real and that he's just lonely.) I myself had experience with roleplay as a part of psychological treatment. My first psychologist as a teen kept various role-playing games for use with patients. I just thought given the lack of stimuli a role-playing game would be a lot of fun. Here's the thing. I'm what's called a "forever DM" in TTRPG parlance. It means I am always running games and I'm rarely a player. Part of this role sorta makes me respond to enthusiasm from players and my crew was so enthusiastic. They did character art which in 30 years of this hobby I hadn't seen before. It was so impressive and cool. We improvised a very simple system and did a dungeon crawl through a temple that had been taken over by goblins. The whole point of my writing about this experience is to discuss this experience because it means a lot to me. I was getting help in the psychiatric hospital but this experience was the one time I felt normal. It was so thrilling that people who knew nothing about TTRPGs joined in and enjoyed themselves.

Welcome to Pen Drop Roleplay – Adults Only (18+) Drop the pen. Let the fantasy begin. This is an exclusive, judgment-free space for adult roleplayers who crave immersive, creative, and often intense storytelling. Whether you enjoy slow-burn narratives, dark themes, power exchange, slice-of-life with heat, or anything in between — if you write with passion and respect, you belong here.

先日某事務所でVとしてデビューされた方についてメタいこと言及してるのでメタネタゆるせないひとは閲覧非推奨 ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ どうみてもあのおかたですありがとうございました スト6大会でまたこんにちはする機会とかあるんだろうか ただ気になることがあって、双極性障害で休止卒業されたと認識してるので、卒業して半年で、ってなると心配にはなる。双極性障害って寛解することはあっても完全に治癒することってしないから。 転生するとしても個人勢として無理のない範囲でゆるりと、と思ってた。 なんにせよ、心の健康が一番。

Good public schools saved me from a harsh, ugly childhood at home. It’s incredible to me that teaching, such a crucial job and huge responsibility for our future gets so little true respect and focus in this country. I understand that rich people have private schools and tutors and enrichment activities for their kids, but to have a successful society, we need quality education for everyone. That’s not what the richest segment of Americans wants because it creates more competition for them, but too damn bad. It’s what lifted up America in just a couple of generations, from the life my grandparents had as poor farmers and ranchers in the Great Depression & Dust Bowl to seeing man land on the moon and vaccine eliminating polio. Progress! We need another infusion of meaningful, useful, beneficial progress. Progress that makes life better for our entire society and the world. It starts with quality schools for everyone. Not poor schools in poor neighborhoods and good schools in wealthy neighborhoods. We need excellent schools everywhere, all at once, all the time. Because nothing helps children who are struggling to survive bad circumstances more than a good classroom as their refuge. Ask me how I know. ❤️

Bellowing for days they took her baby away A round-eyed calf she got to love for one day He's in what they call an "individual housing unit" She can almost hear his cries beneath the waning moon He'll be killed soon He'll be killed soon He'll be killed soon She'll be hooked up to the milking machine for at least a year more Then passed across the same slaughterhouse floor - Seeing Her Being Her by Scarlet Rescue

Former Air Force Secretary Frank Kendall: This week, I heard something that shocked me. In a federal appeals court, lawyers for Pete Hegseth, the secretary of defense, argued that military retirees were subject to freedom of speech restrictions because of their connection to the military, and that if they didn’t like those restrictions, retirees could forfeit their pension and benefits. Let that sink in. The Trump administration expects the people who have put their lives on the line for America to cede one of their basic rights, or forfeit the retirement pay and benefits they have earned over decades of service. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/08/opinion/hegseth-kelly-military-free-speech.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share

The fight for equality & voting rights for Black Americans: Déjà vu, here we are AGAIN, with racist whites again trying to deny Black Americans their humanity and freedoms. I remember what went on with Jim Crow. I didn’t live in the South, but I grew up in a tiny rural Sundown town full of racist assholes, including most of my relatives. I remember what American society was like in the 50s and 60s and it was not healthy for non white people, or immigrants, women or anyone LGBTQ. ALL were looked down on, taken advantage of & made fun of & denied rights. There are so many differences between that era and today. Affirmative Action did a lot of good, so have DEI policies, the Civil Rights Acts, anti discrimination laws & lawsuits against many kinds of harassment & abuse. The result is that the prejudiced people trying to shove Black Americans down again have far more well prepared opposition than decades ago: Many Black well educated professionals, lawyers & judges, professors & business owners, doctors & scientists, astronauts & police chiefs, office holders & billionaires, mayors, governors, bankers, military officers & a former President & First Lady, plus many famous & popular celebrities in music, entertainment & sports. Taking away their political power is not going to be tolerated. Those trying to do so already look like the pathetic losers that they always have been, always will be, until they quit being afraid to welcome Black Americans as equals. I remember when a major retail chain hesitated to use non white actors in their television commercials. I was working on the account. They felt they were taking a “big chance” putting Black, Asian & Hispanic actors in their ads, along with pale people. They worried about the reaction of their customers to the “status quo” changing. The ads aired, sales went UP. Now, an all white ad campaign would look weird. Who’s missing? Who’s not being reached out to? Inclusion is here to stay, including in our politics. Only the most obtuse people in America can imagine it any other way. People who are shutting themselves off in a stifling closet of boring sameness. What’s the point?? Join the modern world. We’re NOT GOING BACK. We will move forward without you, if you don’t quit being jackasses. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

(reposting my prose via longer.blue to see how it looks) My head is pressed into the ground, my hands tied at the wrists. I'm not going anywhere. Just... be slow at first. Let me feel is gradually fill me up, push that first sigh, that first *moan* out of my mouth with that single stroke. Rest in me. Let me feel your pulse. Let me grip you. When you pull back, I moan at the loss. Then another moan as you fill me again, hot and hard. I feel the small bits of gravel biting into my cheek as you press down harder, feel your fingers curl against my scalp as your breath deepens. You try to pull back but I'm pushing my hips back to match you, not wanting to feel it leave me and there's a soft growl as your free hand smacks my ass but that only makes me press back against you harder and whimper that I need it inside me and You're in me again, and the cobblestone scratches my cheek with the force of your thrust. Pulling out and then slamming back in, over and over and I have this dumb grin on my face as I sigh and whimper "yeeeessss..." and now you're not pulling all the way out but just a bit just an ilm or two and it's so hard and feeling your hips slam against my almost *hurts* but it hurts in *just* the right way and I fucking love it. The world turns to black as my eyes roll up. Between having one ear pressed to the ground and your hand covering the other I can barely hear the rough sound of flesh slapping against flesh above the din of the people around us, and even that begins to fade as you continue to grunt, growl, and grind and I'm *gone*, lost in the sweet embrace of rough pleasure.

As a Canadian and fully supportive of all my neighbors in the south fighting for their lives back, it astounds me to witness the incompetence in your Senators and Representatives when it comes to this critical time in US history. You kind of expect your constituents to protest to march and make noise regardless if they are getting beat up, arrested or disappeared. You are safe behind your comfy chair and once in a while you peak out and the most ridiculous claims and promises that quite frankly are embarrassing. I call your President, Mr. Felon and convicted rapist on every day bullshit like the rest of the real human race does. It is becoming obvious by the lack of any real up roar from either side that you are actually going to let Mr. Trump have it all. You want to just fade. Shame on all of you. You don't think if there was a fffkin UFO he would have outted it already? The list of atrocities happening in your state and your country is outrageous. You should hang your head.

Just had one of those weird 'coincidences' happen - you know, the ones that make you think it's all one big simulation? Only yesterday, I was remembering 'TwitLonger', the app that used to allow you to make longer posts on Twitter (when it was still Twitter and there was a 140 charater limit on all, posts). I was only vaguely thinking about it while doing something else entirely, but I briefly wondered whether there was an equivalent app for Bluesky. Anyway, I instantly forgot about it - as is my wont - and didn't think anything more of it until this morning, when - by pure 'chance' - I came across a link to Longer.blue on another website. Turns out Longer.blue does exactly what I was thinking about yesterday - lets you write longer posts on Bluesky. I wasn't searching for it, and I've used that website many times before, yet suddenly, there it was - totally overlooked until now. Weird. Anyway, I thought some of you might find it useful, so decided to test it out by writing this post. Here's the link: https://longer.blue/ Let me know your thoughts...

Just had one of those weird 'coincidences' happen - you know, the ones that make you think it's all one big simulation? Only yesterday, I was remembering 'TwitLonger', the app that used to allow you to make longer posts on Twitter (when it was still Twitter and there was a 140 charater limit on all, posts). I was only vaguely thinking about it while doing something else entirely, but I briefly wondered whether there was an equivalent app for Bluesky. Anyway, I instantly forgot about it - as is my wont - and didn't think anything more of it until this morning, when - by pure 'chance' - I came across a link to Longer.blue on another website. Turns out Longer.blue does exactly what I was thinking about yesterday - lets you write longer posts on Bluesky. I wasn't searching for it, and I've used that website many times before, yet suddenly, there it was - totally overlooked until now. Weird. Anyway, I thought some of you might find it useful, so decided to test it out by writing this post. Here's the link: https://longer.blue/ Let me know your thoughts...

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There used to be a site called crazymeds. The owner rated, reviewed and discussed different meds and information on mental health and illness. The owner himself was mentally ill, and he made a post on there talking about people who were skeptical of using meds for mental illness and his post always stuck with me. Since the site is no longer up, I went on the Wayback Machine and found it. Here it is below. -------------------------- A lot of people are going to feed you lines about how you can deal with mental illness through therapy, prayer, meditation, and by taking various herbs, vitamins, supplements and amino acids, and by practicing Yoga or similar arts, by changing your diet and various lifestyle changes, and so forth. Well all of those things are really good. I do a lot of those things. Hell, I do most of those things. They are all part of a balanced mental health diet. For some types of mental illness for a lot of people those things alone may be the answer. I'm talking about mild to moderate depression, slight anxiety, moderate compulsions, stuff like that. Not being seriously sick in the head. Not bipolar disorder. Not epilepsy. Not schizophrenia. Not clinical depression that keeps you in bed staring at the ceiling for weeks at a time. Not obsessive-compulsive disorder where you're checking to see that the door is locked for half an hour before you can leave your house. Not anxiety/panic disorder so bad that the physical symptoms are obvious to another person. Or agoraphobia so bad you can't leave your house. Ever. Not ADD/ADHD where you can't hold a consistent train of thought for longer than 10 seconds and are a serious threat to yourself and others when trying to do anything involving, oh, I don't know, heavy objects or machinery. Having brain cooties is just like having a visible boo-boo. Bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, epilepsy and the like are the psychic equivalents of having a broken leg from a car crash. If you broke your leg would anyone expect you to go jogging with a broken leg? Would they expect you to even try to carry on with your life before you had a cast put on it? OK, some of us have had some really sadistic and messed-up people in our lives who might make those demands, but let's not bring them into it. So, what happens when you break your leg? You need to get x-rays. You need to have the bones set. You need to have a cast put on the leg . You'll need crutches and/or one of those little carts to get around. OK, now let's compare that with the psychiatric/neurological process: Your initial diagnosis is the x-ray (although getting a fancy brain scan, even an EEG, is the true analog to an x-ray). Getting your bones set is the painful coming to terms with your illness yourself along with any initial crisis medications and interventions. The cast, crutches and cart are your long-term meds. Casts itch, you can't move your leg, and trying to get around on crutches or in one of those carts is a pain in the ass until you master it; and that's side effects and the adjustment periods to meds. Sometimes the break is so bad that your leg needs to be re-broken (ow! owwww!!! ouch!!!!) and reset and put in a new cast, that's the process of having to try other medications if the ones you try first don't do it for you. Sometimes you need metal pins put in your legs that mean you'll never run another marathon again and you'll always set off metal detectors in airports and government office buildings and have to explain things to strangers; that's the maintenance prescription you'll be taking the rest of your life. This is the beginning of the 21st century, we can't yet cure these illnesses, but we can control and manage them. How far out of the mental health closet you wish to come is up to you, because the stigma is still very real, but family, friends, coworkers, et al. need to know that some mental illnesses aren't just something you can cowboy up about and get over. Your brain is physically injured, and like any other part of the body that has received a physical injury, it needs the proper care to heal. The problem that far too many people have is that they can't see the injury, therefore it is not a real injury. Well, you can show them similar injuries here. Sure, that's not your injury, unless you get one of those fancy brain scans yourself, but pictures help people understand that many mental illnesses are, in fact, physical illnesses as well. If you're the person with the mental illness and you're trying to get your family and friends to understand why you can't just deal with it and get over it, show them the difference between a normal brain and a brain with whatever it is you have. If you're the family or friends, get some understanding yourself. So are we clear that mental illness is an injury? Good. What do you do when you're injured? You treat the injury. Life can get better, you just have to put the work in to do it. If you have insurance, consider yourself lucky. Just contact your life insurance company and ask them for their mental health services department. You can explain to them you have addictions and would like to find a rehabilitation service covered by your insurance. If you want to quit cold turkey, good for you because that's hard to do. Otherwise, you can get on a suboxone or methadone program depending on what your insurance covers. Or you could ask for a referral to a psychiatrist and a psychologist to deal with your underlying mental illness. It can take a long time to get better, especially after you've trained yourself that any kind of situation or scenario where you're under intense stress, you can turn right back to drugs and quit taking your meds. So, if you have a mental illness you are self medicating with drugs, tell your psychiatrist that. They will assess you and determine what mental illness you have, and you will have to try a lot of different combinations of drugs to find the right one(s) that work for you and your particular condition. You're also going to have to work with a psychologist and do cognitive behavior therapy to change your habits around and learn how to make more positive choices in life. Best of luck to you all!

Moonlight poured in from an unknown source and spread over Christina’s sleeping form. She stirred, groaning as she slowly stretched and woke up. She sat up, blinking as she began to make sense of her surroundings. She was in a strangely familiar forest. A sinking feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. “Oh fuck.. Am I-?” ` “ No, young one. You’re very much among the living. I just called you here to discuss something.” Said a soft voice. Christina whipped around to find herself facing a large, beautiful wolf. Fur as pale as moonlight, and her eyes a bright yellow. Christina gasped before immediately kneeling in front of her. “Mother Moon! Please forgive me, I didn’t realize!” The deity chuckled. “No need to kneel, young Alpha. As I mentioned before, this is just a discussion,” Mother Moon turned around and began to walk. “Come. There’s a lot you need to see.” Christina stood up and walked behind Mother Moon. Her eyes lowered to the ground in shame. For a while, she was quiet, unsure of what to say. “Mother Moon, you should know.. I’m not an Alpha. Not anymore. The pack is gone and I’ve moved on. All for the best, anyway. I’m a terrible Alpha. And an even more terrible wolf. I’m sure that’s what you want to tell me, right? That I’m a disappointment and that Olivia never should’ve put her trust in me?” Christina thought back to Olivia Lucas, the Alpha who took her in, guided her, and eventually named her as a successor. Liv was more than just her Alpha, she was her closest and dearest friend and sister. Tears began to well up in the younger wolf’s eyes as thought of letting Liv and Mother Moon down. But Mother Moon didn’t say anything. Not at first. “You know you’re one of my rarer children? While a Blue Moon isn’t too uncommon, it is rare for one to be changed during one. And even more rare for one to become an Alpha. In my time, I believe you are the fifth Blue Moon Alpha. But you, my dear Christina, are something even more remarkable. You are aware that each phase of the moon has a spiritual meaning, correct?” Christina nodded. “Yeah. A new moon is for new beginnings. The waxing crescent is for setting intentions... Oh, and the full moon is for manifestation and celebration.” “Very good, my child. Now, what if I were to tell you that the blue moon also has spiritual implications? And that you are the first Blue Moon Alpha to embody all of them?” Christina’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?” Mother Moon gave a wolfish grin before continuing on. Eventually, the two came across a gorgeous lake. The white wolf stopped and sat on the shore, looking into the water. “Come, child.” Christina stepped closer, looking into the water. After, she saw nothing. Then, a vision began to form. There was a cave and a grey wolf was sitting in it. It had its eyes closed and it wasn’t moving. A closer inspection revealed that it was wearing a wolf head necklace. Christina’s hand shot to her neck, touching the exact necklace that she was wearing. This wolf was her! “I see... I’m meditating. That’s how I ended up here.” Mother Moon nodded. “Yes. By doing so, you’ve already embodied many of the spiritual qualities of the blue moon. This is your first run in years, so you’ve reconnected with nature. You are in a new place, which is a new beginning and fresh start. Meditation helps with inner reflection and self-discovery. There’s also the increased intuition and connecting with spirit guides. Whether you realize it or not, you called me here tonight.” “Okay.. But why?” Christina shrugged. “What is it that I need to know?” “All in due time, little one. Now come along.” Mother Moon stood up and walked across the water, heading closer to the moon that shone in the middle of the lake. Christina tentatively placed a foot on the water. It faintly glowed underneath her shoe as it carried her weight. The young wolf took a deep breath and bravely followed along. As they walked, another vision appeared in the water. It was a combination of a few memories: learning to control and accept her wolf, becoming part of the pack, stepping up as Alpha, making plans with Liv. Tears welled up in Christina’s eyes. Those memories seemed like a lifetime ago. “I miss her.. Do you know if she’s doing okay?” There was silence for a moment. “I cannot answer that, little one. We’re here for you tonight,” Mother Moon looked into the memory Christina was visiting. “ All of these moments represent another meaning; transformation and growth. You strived to constantly better yourself and the people around you. A quality that you still have. Though it’s been buried.” Mother Moon continued to walk until she was directly underneath the moon’s light. Christina caught up soon after. “So how many more meanings do I need to see?” “Just two. But these will not come from your memories. There are things you need to do when you return to your body.” “What is it?” Christina looked to Mother Moon, pleading. “What do I need to learn?” “Christina Pierre, you must heal yourself. And rediscover the Alpha you were meant to be. There are many others out there. Like you once were, they’re lost, afraid, and need guidance. Bring back the Blue Moon Pack. Pass along the blessing that Olivia and I have given you.” Christina froze, not knowing how to process what was asked of her. “But... I gave it up.” “Too soon, I may add.” “And I haven’t met another wolf in ages. Aside from Victor. But I can’t ask him to join. I don’t know how Ruby feels about them on account of her mother. And-” “Christina,” The young wolf stopped her rambling. Only to be met with a smile from Mother Moon. “I seem to recall that you were like this when Olivia first named you her successor. But that was a long time ago. You’re not the timid little runaway that you used to be. You are strong, confident, kind, caring, all the things that an Alpha should be. And as long as my children exist, there will be a need for Alphas.” Christina stayed quiet for a long time, contemplating. A small part of her did want to be an Alpha again. Now she had a new life and home, she was sure to meet and help other wolves. She let out a sigh, realizing that she was trying to avoid responsibility. “You’re right. You’re right, I’m sorry. I need to do what I was chosen to do. I’ll start a new pack.” Mother Moon nodded. “Your healing journey will be a long and difficult one, but it will be well worth it in the end. Go, my child. You have work to do.” Suddenly, the glowing under her feet stopped and Christina was suddenly submerged in the water. All at once, the moon’s light faded and everything went dark... Christina woke with a start, her nails clawing at the stone floor beneath her. Once she realized that she wasn’t drowning, she let out a sigh of relief. She stretched a bit and looked around at the cave she was in. “Huh.. this is a decent size, honestly,” There was an opening in the back that she didn’t remember seeing last night. The wolf stood up and peek outside, only to be met with a gorgeous river. She quickly looked out the front entrance. It was the forest. “It can’t be that easy...” Though it wasn’t a requirement, Christina always wanted a den of her own. She couldn’t host every wolf at her house, after all. So, she rolled up her sleeves and got to work. Christina spent hours clearing out stray rocks and loose stalagmites. Soon, the ground was clear, save for a few patches of moss. She made a note to add things like animal pelts. Olivia had taught her how to make them and she had never gotten the chance to use that knowledge. Eventually, Christina stood proud of her work. But, something was missing.. Christina walked out the front entrance and looked at the mouth of the cave. She stood for a second before it came to her. She couldn’t put a welcome mat down. Or have a sign that obviously said, ‘Home to the Blue Moon Pack.’ But she could put up something to welcome others like her who were once lost. Christina foraged for a few berries. Using a rock and a leaf, she mashed them into a paint and brought it back to the front entrance. On the side of the entrance, she wrote, “Not All Who Wander Are Lost” along with a picture of a wolf howling at the moon. It wasn’t much, but it would do for now. Then, she walked back to town, marking her territory with a bit of blood from her finger along the way. Need to remember to set a perimeter. Maybe tomorrow.

Christina Pierre was born in Los Angeles. She lived in a decent home with her mother, father, and two younger siblings. The atmosphere was constantly filled with music. As soon as they got older, Christina and her siblings learned to play instruments. Christina easily took to both guitar and piano. Christina was content with her simple life. But little did she know that this life wouldn't last forever. It all started when Christina turned 16 years old. Feeling a little rebellious, she decided to sneak out of her house and hang out in the local park. It was a calm and peaceful night, illuminated by the glorious and rare blue full moon. But then, a rustling sound came from the bushes. Ignoring all instincts, Christina decided to step closer. Suddenly, a large grey wolf jumped out and pinned her to the ground. It stared at the young girl before rearing back and sinking its fangs into her left shoulder. Then, it ran off. Christina laid on the ground, bleeding and crying. She tried to pick herself up to go home, but that’s when the change started. A searing pain shot through her body, and her eyes began to glow green. A silver pelt grew over her skin, her teeth sharpened to fangs and she grew a tail. Too scared to think straight, Christina ran. She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew she couldn’t stay. For years, Christina traveled east through America, trying to find a way to control or get rid of this curse. She earned money by performing in the streets and spent many nights scared that a mob would find her. The morning after every full moon, she woke up with blood on my face and chest. Luckily, it was always from wildlife. But she was terrified that one day, it would be a person. After about four months or so people would find some trace of her. When it happened, she took what little she had and moved on to a new town. She was no longer Christina Pierre. But simply Christina, the runaway. When Christina was 21, she finally reached as far east as she could go, to the town of Storybrooke, Maine. Though she had never heard of this place before, she knew immediately that there was something special about this town. Only two days passed when Christina realized that this place was full of magical beings. Not too long after that, she found Olivia Lucas. She just happened to be the alpha wolf of the pack in town. She was kind enough to teach Christina how to control her wolf form just in time for the full moon. For the first time in years, Christina had control. And with Storybrooke’s weird nature, she was finally able to settle down. Christina’s time in Storybrooke was filled with adventure, danger, friendship, despair, and even some happiness. She grew into a powerful Alpha wolf, helping Olivia lead her pack. She found her voice, making her mark as a performer. At one point, she fell in love. But then the red flags started to show. Finally, she divorced, packed up, and decided to try her hand at performing on the road. Now 26, Christina spends a lot of her time traveling, meeting new people, and making up for lost time. Once a year, she does return to Storybrooke to catch up with any friends, or make new ones. The life of an Alpha is behind her for now, but the need for it may arise again one day.

Alpa Conseil et atelier—ZOU ont présenté les résultats finaux de l'étude ANCT - Agence nationale de la cohésion des territoires dédiée à la réouverture d'une base nautique et d'un parc de loisirs sur le site des Foraines de Saint-Firmin, en Baie de Somme sur la commune de Le Crotoy. Cette mission représente un enjeu fort sur le territoire, pour maintenir le positionnement balnéaire et nautique de la commune, dans un contexte d'ensablement de la Baie de Somme et d’aléas climatique. La réouverture phasée d'une base nautique puis d'un parc de loisirs permettrait tout à la fois de relancer les pratiques nautiques sur un plan d'eau intérieur, et de diversifier le positionnement de la commune. Le Site des Foraines de Saint Firmin constitue un trait d'union entre plusieurs communes et sites, dont le Parc du Marquenterre - Baie de Somme, le long d'une voie verte à fort flux, et sa structuration aura un effet positif sur l'aménagement global du territoire. Néanmoins, les enjeux étaient complexes pour rechercher les voies d'une expérimentation de ce type, le site étant en périmètre ICPE, avec une exploitation par 3 carriers actifs. Le travail avec la DDTM 80, la DREAL, les carriers, le PNR Parc naturel régional Baie de Somme Picardie maritime, le Syndicat mixte Baie de Somme 3 Vallées et la Commune a permis de dégager un cap permettant d'aborder les multiples réglementations grâce à la coordination des différents acteurs. hashtag#Loi_Littoral, périmètres ICPE, PLUi en évolution.. la complexité initialement bloquante a pu être objectivée au service d'un projet qui connaît d'ores et déjà ses premiers pas de relance dans le cadre d'un partenariat avec la fédération de voile au travers d'initiations et stages sur le plan d'eau dès cette année. Le projet ainsi fixé pourra ainsi prendre son envol pour franchir les différents paliers de développement, et donner à la commune un atout majeur au service de son attractivité. Olivier MUTEZ Pierre Alland Plesiat Vincent

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

There's something about Nintendo discourse about new or upcoming games (like the upcoming Star Fox 64 remake) that just really rubs me the wrong way, and I don't say this to be like, a super defensive fanperson about Nintendo who will slice you into fillet if you dare to talk bad about them. I think really, a lot of it boils down to, "I don't like seeing people not only trash a game, but act like everyone who buys that game or even just expresses any interest, no matter how healthily they do so, is part of some greater problem and should be ashamed of themselves," magnified by the fact that Nintendo games are the most well-known to everyone so the discoures becomes inescapable unless I just blackout from all online platforms for a while. Obviously, this excepts games that have horrible messages (like pro-naziism) or made by people who are known to be awful (like Domina, whose developer went on a raging tirade against trans people in the patch notes, on the game's forum, and on Twitter; or Hogwarts Legacy, because lol JKR) -- *those* are the things that I feel are much worse spends of money (along with things like Chick-Fil-A and donating money to the political campaigns of known bad people and political parties), but our general behavior when it comes to games we simply don't like or have anti-interest in is to just not make much noise about it. Of course, the people who are super defensive Nintendo fanatics don't really help and I think that's why their detractors just decide they don't care who feels hurt as long as they get their feelings about the new Nintendo game out. At any rate, we're not interested in SF64 remake ourselves, if they at least remixed the level designs and game mechanics then sure, but since the Direct stated that the old level designs are kept...we'll just turn our attention to other games instead.

jet lag the game s17 finale MAJOR SPOILERS; i am dead fucking serious right now youtube people, i am filling this section with filler words so that they show in the preview instead of the actual spoilers-- here's the thing; i can handle sam losing a season because he makes strategic blunders and overthinks plans, because that is at least interesting and crazy in a fun way. yes the go-bust call your shot plan was incredibly risky, perhaps unnecessarily so, but to quote ben in the episode: "i can appreciate them getting a little weird with it." what i *can't* handle is sam losing a season because he looked at THE MOST TIGER-LOOKING ROCK IN THE WORLD, literally *orange with black stripes*, found through both sheer serendipity and mike's cleverness, and think that it represents... a PIG. like... deepest of sighs. why oh why. also shoutout to the graphics team because the dynamic infographic at the end, the one showing their map movement + a chart of their chip and station counts, is one of the coolest graphics i've seen on the show. i love data!

Before I can even begin to discuss the generational trauma of the Galvus family, we need to go back to where it all started. Emet-Selch, the sundering and his inability to process grief. Some would say that Emet is not a sentimental man, but everything he does is fueled by longing and pining for what he once had. He suffered tremendous loss - his home, his people, his Azem, his entire world. He cannot and does not move on, and that stagnation and grief continue to bleed into his life as Solus zos Galvus. The death of Lucius yae Galvus was a turning point for Solus. Lucius had represented proof to him that sundered souls may still have worth, may be worth saving. His death reinforced the opposite - we are fragile, imperfect beings and in the end, disposable. The grief from this loss never resolved within Solus, simply redirected. And landed squarely on the shoulders of a young Varis yae Galvus. “Through His Eyes” makes it clear that after Lucius’ death, Emet emotionally severed himself from his lineage. He corrects himself to “This body’s grandson” when referring to Varis, refusing to acknowledge they are related. When a 20 year old Varis desperately challenges his grandfather on what it is that displeases him so, we are told “To let this question spill forth, his frustration towards his grandsire must be great indeed”, suggesting this moment has been building for some time. Varis has grown up in the shadow of an unspoken loss; his resentment is not sudden - it has built up over years of being treated like he is unworthy, lesser. We know Varis is not incapable of connection, despite how Solus may have treated him. Regula van Hydra has been a close friend since childhood, and his bond with his personal guards - the twins Julia and Annia quo Soranus - who have been with him since his days as High Legatus, proves he can maintain loyalty, trust and camaraderie. But with family, there is nothing. We do not know if he ever mourned his father but he showed open disdain for his grandfather, spitting on Solus’ coffin during his funeral rites. For all the fandom can joke and meme on Varis, he himself is a tragedy and a victim - a man who spent his life trying to be enough for someone who never even saw him as truly alive. Then comes Zenos yae Galvus. Where Varis was shaped by pressure and control, Zenos was shaped by absence. His mother dies shortly after his birth, and Varis is emotionally and physically absent. Allowing - and even enabling - his abuse. The Hunt Begins paints a mournful picture: a child beaten, returning injured, and met not with concern but indifference. "The tenth day saw Zenos limping back to his chambers, cradling a throbbing shoulder, when his father’s voice rang out behind him. “How goes your training?” As if you don’t know. Though his clothing did a good job of hiding the countless welts and bruises now covering his body, Varis would have received the reports from his son’s servants. He knew full well about these daily thrashings, and had permitted them to continue. “Very well, Father.” Zenos replied, smiling." This does not produce ambition or loyalty to the Empire. But emptiness, apathy, disconnect. Zenos becomes anhedonic, detached from the world and unable to find his place in it, unable to find meaning or joy in anything. Pausing on Zenos for a moment, before we can understand how this cycle leads to Endwalker, it’s important to look at another branch of the Galvus family tree that didn’t follow this implosive path. Titus and Nerva yae Galvus. Whilst Titus never lived up to his brother Lucius’ legacy, there is no indication that he was treated with hostility like his nephew was. In fact, from the limited information we get, it seems Titus was fairly well adjusted. Solus’ grief was targeted specifically towards Varis as Lucius’ only heir. As a result, his relationship with his son is a direct contrast to Zenos/Varis. Functional, cooperative and at the very least, communicative and supportive, given he backs Nerva’s right to the throne. The cycle breaks in this branch, and yet it still ends in tragedy. Titus, suggested to have been killed either during the civil war or during the Final Days - a side quest introduces us to a Royal Bodyguard showing remorse over not being able to save the Royal Household at an assumed safe haven. Nerva, described as ambitious and deeply patriotic, retains the capacity for connection as seen in his bond with Vergillia. He loves his homeland, he believes in the Empire. Unlike Zenos, he has something to lose. And that’s precisely why the Final Days consumes him. His love for his country and the despair of what has become of it is the catalyst that transforms him into a Blasphemy. Zenos, meanwhile, feels nothing. No loyalty, no grief, no attachment to the empire he helped destroy. There is nothing for the song of Despair to take root or hold on to. And it is precisely that endless emptiness that drives him into his actions that lead to Endwalker. Where Varis sought control and unity, Zenos invites annihilation in exchange for a single moment of feeling and connection. That moment he found in us, the WoL, the only person who ever viewed as an equal. Who did not defer, who did not cower, who did not break. Their battle in Ala Mhigo was not about the fight itself; it was about what it gave Zenos - meaning. From that point on, Zenos defines himself through that connection. Like an addict, he chases it again and again, even if it means reducing the world to nothing to recreate it. Everything else is expendable. We are his connection to a world he never understood and that never attempted to understand him. We are his lifeline, his meaning. It’s not about combat, that’s just the outlet he knows best. In From the Cold proves that. He tries to connect with us differently. It’s awkward, it’s unsuccessful, it’s once again forced. Also, Fandaniel is there. But he tries. As clumsy as his attempt is, it’s an attempt to bridge that gap. But you cannot force understanding any more than you can force connection. And rather than accepting his failure, he lashes out and retaliates harder. His connection to us is the only positive affirmation he’s ever known and he pushes it to the extreme over and over again. Enter Alisaie. In Garlemald, Alisaie is the first to outright reject his premise and lay things to him plainly. She refuses to engage him on his terms and calls him out, hitting him hard with some home truths that he has long needed to hear - his obsession is selfish, hollow, one-sided. For the first time, he’s forced to face the idea that the connection he depends on may not be mutual. We don’t consider Zenos vulnerable because let's face it, he is over 7ft5, around 350lbs of pure apathetic killing machine. He does not project vulnerability. But he is. He was manipulated by Fandaniel. The ascian hooked his claws in on Zenos' insecurity and disconnect and used that for his own needs before betraying him on the moon. And this realisation - delivered by a sharp-tongued sixteen-year-old - doesn’t redeem him, but it changes him fundamentally. We see him reflect on his actions, on her words. We see him re-evaluate his situation. And in the end, he shows restraint. He helps us without demanding anything in return, and he banters back at us when we tell him we’re leaving him behind at the edge of the universe. He does not demand his battle, he asks and allows for refusal. Because it’s not about the battle, it’s about the connection and at that point, we have never been closer; that connection - no matter what answer you choose in the end - is finally mutual. The Zenos who helps us in Ultima Thule is not the same Zenos who faced us in the Royal Menagerie nor sat across from us in the Imperial Palace. And that’s the true tragedy. And he realises this too as he takes his last breath and talks with us And thus we tie back to where this all began. If Emet-Selch had dealt with his grief, if he had not projected it onto Varis, then Varis might not have grown into a man incapable of loving his own son. Zenos may not have been left so utterly empty that he sought meaning in destruction. None of this absolves the Galvus family or the Garlean empire of their crimes. But it reframes them with context. Because Zenos is not an inevitable outcome, he is a product of his environment. He would always be our enemy as a member of the Garlean royal family, a legatus and a conqueror. But at least the ending might have been different. At least when he was defeated in Ala Mhigo, he would have either met the same fate, this time stayed dead. Or surrendered and stood trial for his crimes. He would not have continued to pursue us. Would not have allied with the Ascian. Would not have freed Zodiark, forcing us to kill the primal. Would not have allowed Meiteon's song of oblivion to reach Etheirys. In short, Endwalker as it unfolded could have been avoided if the cycle had been broken.

Quinta puntata di #trekcontech Oggi parleremo delle app migliori da installare sullo smartphone, e che non dovrebbero mai mancare. DISCLAIMER: La frequentazione della montagna richiede preparazione ed attrezzatura corrette; raccomando quindi di adottare sempre la massima attenzione e prudenza. Nel caso di infortuni, errori di percorso, condizioni mutevoli del territorio, non mi assumo alcun tipo di responsabilità. Lo smartphone è un inseparabile compagno e, anche se in montagna non c'è quasi mai campo, possiamo sempre e comunque utilizzarlo per avere le nostre amate app a disposizione. Ecco qui una breve ma utile lista di quelle che, secondo me, sarebbero sempre da tenere a portata di mano: * OsmAnd: con le mappe offline è imbattibile. Vi basta scaricare quelle della vostra regione, o della regione in cui vi recate per le escursioni. Avete fino a 10 download nella versione gratuita. Più che sufficienti per tenerci mezza Europa. Qui trovate il manuale per l'utilizzo: https://osmand.net/it/docs/user/ Praticamente una cartografia tascabile: con il GPS saprete sempre dove vi trovate, e le mappe sono estremamente dettagliate (mi ha tirato fuori da un sacco di situazioni in cui mi ero proprio perso). * Se avete il Garmin Inreach Mini (o Mini 2), Garmin Explore e Garmin Messenger. Explore va bene anche se non avete dispositivi Garmin: è simile a OsmAnd (anche se quello resta il migliore in assoluto). * Se avete altri trasmettitori satellitari, di solito sono anche disponibili le app per gestirli. Installatele sempre, perchè provvedono anche ad aggiornare i dispositivi. * Where AREU: se vivete in Lombardia, un'app fantastica (sempre che abbiate copertura telefonica). Alla pressione di un tasto chiama il 112 e trasmette la vostra posizione. Anche se non potete parlare. A dire il vero va bene anche in città, specie in luoghi poco raccomandabili. * PeakLens: sfrutta bussola e GPS del telefono per darvi i nomi di tutte le cime che inquadrate. Insostituibile (e fa anche figo riconoscere le montagne). * Bussola (l'avete sicuramente già installata sullo smartphone) Ricordate che in montagna dovete tenere lo smartphone al sicuro, magari in una custodia imbottita. Non rischiate di perderlo o romperlo, perchè potrebbe davvero salvarvi la vita. Buona montagna !

Method I use for rectal progesterone. Empty your bowels beforehand, and I would recommend taking it at night after your last bowel movement of the day before going to bed. Optionally it also can be a good idea to use wet toilet paper to wipe stuff down and get things a cleaner. And wash your hands before starting the process. Lubricate, using dedicated water-based lube works great, but now I just use my saliva, I lubricate my index finger and put the capsules in my mouth to lubricate them as-well before inserting them. Rolling them around in your inserting hand if using dedicated lubricant works well too. Insertion is pretty simple. You want to push the capsules in until it reaches at or just before the second knuckle of your index finger. Pushing it too far can concievably lead to it being metabolised somewhat like oral progesterone because of how the different parts of the rectum process things, but im not sure I've experience that myself at all. I put a picture to illustrate how far you want to push it in. And of course wash your hands afterwards. It's going to be a weird sensation feeling the capsule dissolve and it may feel like you need to poop or it's slipping out when you take it, that's normal and I'd advise just ignoring it and getting used to that being the sensation that happens when you take rectal prog other notes: I have seen advice to pierce the capsules beforehand, but I'm not confident thats necessary at all, the capsule casing dissolves in the moisture of the rectum anyways, and my results show its absolutely effective without piercing the capsule. And also, when you start out (assuming you haven't done anal play before this) it may feel difficult to push it in even with lube, but my body adjusted over the course of a few days and now its easy for me. In terms of dosage, I would say anywhere from 100mg-400mg is fine, though taking 400mg is just because I like to have fun and probably not necessary lmao.

Kennedy Starts a Push to Help Americans Quit Antidepressants (archived article text here) The health secretary has long complained that Americans overuse psychiatric medications. New policies he is introducing aim to change that. Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on Monday announced several initiatives intended to rein in the prescription of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, the most widely prescribed class of antidepressants, which he has described as exceptionally difficult to quit. Mr. Kennedy has long signaled that reducing the use of psychiatric drugs would be an aim of his tenure, but Monday’s announcements were the first significant step in that direction. The initiative focuses on the most widely prescribed class of psychiatric medications, first-line treatments for depression and anxiety that include Zoloft, Lexapro, Paxil and Prozac. In 2026, 16.6 percent of U.S. adults, or roughly one in six, reported currently taking an S.S.R.I. Introduced nearly 40 years ago, the drugs surged in popularity, partly because they had fewer side effects than previous antidepressants and could be prescribed by general practitioners. Clinicians typically told patients that going off S.S.R.I.s was straightforward. But many patients report withdrawal symptoms, including “brain zaps,” restlessness and flulike symptoms, and say they have received little support from clinicians in the process. The changes — new trainings, reimbursement mechanisms and clinical guidelines — nudge clinicians to help patients getting off medications, and to consider nonpharmaceutical interventions, like therapy, nutrition and exercise. “Psychiatric medications have a role in care, but we will no longer treat them as the default, we will treat them as one option, to be used when appropriate, with full transparency and with a clear path off when they are no longer needed,” Mr. Kennedy said at a Mental Health and Overmedicalization Summit organized by the MAHA Institute. While some patients benefit from S.S.R.I.s, he said, others report emotional blunting, loss of motivation, suicidal ideation and difficulty in withdrawing. “Let me be clear: If you are taking psychiatric medication, we are not telling you to stop,” Mr. Kennedy said. “We are making sure you — and your clinician — have the information and support to make the right decision for you.” No major medical organizations were represented at the gathering, and afterward, some pushed back at the assertion that psychiatric medications were overprescribed. https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/04/science/rfk-antidepressants-ssris-hhs-maha.html