longer.blue

I come back after a week of having Bluesky uninstalled to see I've been ostracized by a majority of my "friends" group. I don't even want to see what was said about me.... I'm genuinely hurt that people I spent so much time interacting with, liking & reposting their jokes, trying to send nothing but positivity to and getting to know have decided to engage in high school clique behavior and dogpile and block me. So yeah, I'm frustrated. I'm disappointed. I'm sad. I have 15 different ways for anyone to contact me in my bio. But the block button is right there. Trying genuine communication takes effort. I've always tried my best to be nice to everyone. I ask people how they're doing if they seem down, I share jokes and funny comics with them. If you're sick, I tell them to get well soon. If it's your birthday I ALWAYS send them a happy birthday. Holidays I tried to send good wishes to ALL of my mutuals. If you need technical help with something, I'm here. I remember talking to Beaverah when she was saying how lame people were who joined in ridiculous groupthink and blocked people for dumb reasons. Professor Kiosk and me had several conversations about how bad it felt when _he_ was mass blocked on Twitter. I guess hypocrisy is a hard trait for people to overcome. I really considered them to be friends. I know it's just the internet and none of this is supposed to matter. But, I guess it's easier to hit the block button than have empathy or to take the time to try talking to someone. The more followers you have, the more clout you have and you gotta go with the people with the most followers when a dogpile happens. Tbh, I'm mostly disappointed I won't get to see their jokes anymore. Every one of my mutuals that blocked me is someone I'll legitimately miss seeing their posts in my timeline. Their posts cheered me up, made me laugh and a smile. I feel like I've been deprived their comedic therapy they gave me. All I wanted from here is to post jokes and read other people's jokes, have some laughs & interact with fun people. Something I'm desperately missing in my real life... Bluesky has been my escape from my own mind, my loneliness and terminal bordum. I don't need to be drawn into other people's drama and their sex lives and weird relationships. I don't give a damn about any of that. Maybe I'm guilty about supporting someone I saw on my timeline who said they were being manipulated by a parasocial sex pest. I liked their posts, told them I'm so sorry they had to experience that. I didn't read the screenshots or chat logs. This internet drama has absolutely nothing to do with me. But, if you feel the need to take sides over some e-drama everyone is going to forget about in a month, that must suck being such a petty and immature person. This place isn't fun for me anymore. I feel like my silliness has left my body. I'm an unwell person. I suffer from crippling anxiety & depression that I try to avoid talking about. It's easier to laugh at your problems than admit the stark and horrible reality. Anyway, I just felt like I had to write this just to get this out of my mind. A big part of my anxiety is my mind just repeating negative emotions and thoughts over and over and over ad nauseam. I'm sure this won't change anything. I don't know if I'll stick around Bluesky. I'm burnt out. I'm tired of being dragged into other people's bullshit. Regardless, I wish the best for my former moots. They're honestly very funny & talented people and I'll miss them. If you got to the bottom, thanks for reading 💚 Pogue