longer.blue

Small disclaimer that the following thoughts are quite all over the place and I just need a place to vent out without these thoughts being discovered on the bsky search. There has been a lot on my mind lately and it has been stressing me out to the point that my acne has been flaring up quite badly. And I don't know how to deal with it, as some of it has to do with my current situation as an artist who's trying to make a living out of it. Quite frankly speaking, this year has been quite a disaster financially for me and it's just frustrating the way social media is heading to a direction that makes it much harder for creatives to promote their services the way it reaches the right audience... I'm also currently in a situation where I also need some emergency funds to pay my bills, but with my reach being as bad as it is, it's quite difficult to find the clients that would pay. It's quite.... frustrating being a creative person online these days. That doesn't mean I'm not having fun drawing by any means, but having these issues just fuel the lack of motivation to even finish any proper illustrations these days. Not that I'm not posting anything either, but it's quite hard to motivate yourself to work on something that 1. not many people are interested in and 2. also brings you clients who would like to work with you. (That's partially why I have also started a side account with a different focus not too long ago where i'm essentially just posting things to a void as a means to forget about these issues for a tiny bit... And no, I'm not going to ever announce my side account, although I did drop some subtle hints here and there before) Sometimes, I would like to shout out for help, but I know that this is going to be futile, especially because I may not be the only one dealing with these issues. In the end, I'm a nobody amongst the sea of creatives and this is not meant to undermine my own skills. It's just the reality of the oversaturated market where someone like me who is trying not to rely on someone else too much can't even get enough potential clients to be interested following me, to the point of funding my business. I am very grateful to the people that are sharing my works though, and that will never change. Thank you for sticking with me. But I don't know how much I can keep on smiling on the surface anymore. My passion for art will never stop, but passion isn't enough to pay back the gratitude I received... I'm not ok right now, I guess.