longer.blue

A message from Lux: Hey all. You're probably surprised to see me post something on here after months of silence. I've never been too keen on social media, hence why I don't post much and rarely ever login. However this post isn't meant to touch on that weird tendency of mine, but is instead meant for me to speak some of my thoughts and have some closure. If you're someone who isn't a mutual of mine from Discord, the remainder of this message shouldn't be of any interest to you, but I will explain the details of what has transpired within the last month and ultimately yesterday that made me create this post. For you guys who know me and have seen what happened yesterday, I believe you're owed an explanation. So here goes. In a Discord server that I frequented on (which I won't name publicly), there was a certain individual (who will go unnamed) that caused a lot of issues in Voice Calls that me and others were a part of. This behaviour ultimately led them to finally breaking the camel's back and getting a warning from the mods to cease this behaviour and as punishment they were given a 1 month timeout from joining the server's VC. If you, the unnamed person, are reading this (which I honestly hope you are), yes, we all knew what the reason for your absence was, despite you trying to play it off to others as if it wasn't a big deal. And you should know that, most of us, were happy about your absence. For that 1 month, things were chill and for the first time in a while, I've had a period in the server where I was genuinely happy, without any reasons to feel ticked off, annoyed or uncomfortable. To provide context to those unknowing, this unnamed person had a tendency to verbally abuse others, disrespect others opinions if they didn't align with their own or if they just didn't like the other person, felt like they were in a position of power and authority over others and by proxy felt like they could tell others how they should act or what they should/shouldn't do (Hey newsflash jacka$$, you're not a mod on the server, and you probably never will be.), but most importantly this individual had a tendency to behave in a certain way around any female that joined the VC which not only made those females uncomfortable but also made everyone else in the Call uncomfortable. With the lifting of this individual's timeout, which happened on April 1st, a bunch of us regulars in the VC had a discussion about that and were ultimately torn on whether we should use a separate Discord Server to avoid them or just go on about as normal and just ignore them or press them if they ever revert back to their old tendencies. From what I've heard, this person hasn't changed at all, which is what I figured would happen, hence why I wanted to avoid them at any cost. However I realized that this was unfair to the others. A lot of my mutuals felt unsure on how to deal with this, and this caused a bit of a rift between us (there was no betrayal or anything, we were just torn on our decisions). After giving it a long night's thought I realized what was the issue. It was me. My own selfishness and pride made others feel unsure and caused us to take sides. For that I wanted to say to my mutuals, that I am deeply sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel like you had to choose one over the other. I should've known better. It has always been in my nature to treat others fairly and to tackle issues that are unjustful. So I made the ultimatum just a few hours before yesterday's Nintendo Switch 2 Direct. I deleted my Discord Server (which only had like 9 people on there and was used to avoid the unnamed person) and I promptly left the initial Discord Server. Noone should feel like they have to take sides. I'm the only one who cannot stand being in Call with the individual, so the only other option would've been for me to remain in the Server but become radio silent, and I can't do that. I know a lot of you reading this probably find my decision to be stupid and unnecessary, but I have no other alternative. I just can't force myself to be fake and act as if everything's alright and that I am okay with that person being in the same Call as me. I'm not. As the final nail in the coffin I decided to delete my Discord Account. I didn't frequent any other server besides that one, so by not being in the server I would've just stopped using Discord altogether, which is what I am doing. If you've sent me any DMs, I haven't seen them as I have uninstalled Discord on my phone and PC at the same time when I exited the server. (Don't worry about me, I'm not in a negative mental space or anything, I just felt like I needed to distance myself from these negative thoughts that seemed to cloud my head because of that individual) I will do the same with BlueSky, however I won't go as far as to fully delete it, just uninstall it. I want this message to remain on my profile and serve as a final testament. I want those of you who've spent countless hours in Voice Calls with me in the span of the last year+ know that I greatly appreciate your existence and will always cherish the memories we've made. I'm sorry that it has come to this, but I feel it's time I part ways and move on to better things. - Sincerely, Lux