longer.blue

Because it is worth saying, and because I think it is important that people don't feel worried or confused; This is really hard to admit, and I've already sent out a few relevant DMs to those I was close to, but I do not think it is healthy for me to be here. I think from my beginning in this community I was participating unhealthily and did not have anything close to a good framework to practice kink in a safe and nice way. My introduction to this scene was rushed and full of desperation to be something MORE, and that something was not a position I was ready to take. I was not ready to take the role of a domme like the ones I idolized and wanted to emulate. I fought very hard to try and be someone who I was simply not ready to be. I don't know if I'm going to return, and please know that I want to come back eventually, but I am going to need a lot of therapy, a lot of reflection, and a lot of time alone to figure out how to best do this. To my sisters, peers, and devotees, I offer a sincere apology, and the hope that I can be better at this someday when I've matured and grown into someone capable of taking up that mantle again. To those I may have scared, hurt, or put on a pedestal, intentionally or not; I offer the same to you, and promise that this will not be my end. Whether or not it ends with me returning to this beautiful place so many of us call home, I won't let myself fester and rot like I have. I will be better, because the other option is simply not acceptable. I will keep this post and account up for seven days. After that, I am deleting it permanently and not giving myself any chances to come back before I feel that I am ready. Your Regent is not dead, but She does abdicate Her throne, and hopes with all her heart that she will someday return. I love you all. Thank you for this journey. <3