longer.blue

Your internal state and your social skills create a feedback loop. When you feel calm, confident, and energized, your social skills naturally improve. You speak more freely, listen better, express yourself honestly, and take more social risks. But it works in the other direction too. When you know how to start conversations, handle awkward moments, make people laugh, express yourself, and recover from rejection, you naturally feel more confident. You don’t need to force yourself into a perfect emotional state because you trust your ability to handle the interaction. A powerful state improves your social skills. Strong social skills improve your state. Every successful interaction reinforces both. So don’t wait until you feel unstoppable before you socialize. Take action in whatever state you’re in, use the skills you’ve trained, and let the experience build your confidence. State creates skillful action, and skillful action creates state.