longer.blue

32 is probably too late to be saying i'm kin with shit but i'm kind of at the not giving a fuck stage of my life rn that comes with getting older. it's the best word for me even if it may not be not 'real'. (not saying it's one or the other because minds are very complex! i view it from a scientific perspective) and i don't have to worry if people say it's cringe and fake or on the other hand i'm insulting otherkin, i'm just living my gay little life. yeah we're talking about Viktor Arcane. this bond i feel is fulfilling and euphoric, makes me feel confident while fragile, to struggle through a fate that seems inevitable while remaining curious to learn and help others. it gives me physical and mental goals. (knowledge, queerness, androgyny, kindness, real activism etc haha) + the practical outcome matters more than the method. he's not just for coping through really dark mental times but it really helps and when I give myself up more to Viktor (even if it's just the idea of him or something, even if it's just an imaginary 'Viktor lens' that i perceive), it helps me get through another day and like have you seen the world lately? i'd rather be a silly guy from queer tv show than give up to the despair that pushes me to the edge again and again. i feel more complete, and i'm really looking forward to a glorious revolution. yippee