longer.blue

When people ask me about my kinks, I often like to start with acknowledgment, that there are two separate realms: Fantasies and reality. They may overlap, but not necessarily fully match. It is perfectly okay to have very wild fantasies, look at bizarre imagery, even going verbal about it in the heat of the sexy moment - without ever needing or even wanting to experience them on one's own skin. These domains coexist and interact in a healthy human - there's nothing wrong about the "split". Let's be sane about it. Over the course of recent decades, we have turned from hetero/bi/homo/*-sexuals into pornsexuals. Porn is not only the reflection of our sex lives, but often the inspiration if not even the source for imitation. We tend to "execute" our kinks in the same way - alas often a mechanical, repetitive, consumerist one - as we see them. And the more kinksters replicate the same cliche - the more imperative it gets. We sometimes do things that are not even really sexy (if we had the capacity, the skill-set and the trained habit to inquire genuinely) + just because "everyone does it" or "this is how it is supposed to be done". Let's be honest about it. As absurd as it may seem, we have forgotten how to ask: "Is this really sexy?" Yes, around The Sexuality - supposedly the last unregulated space of personal freedom - as we used to think of it. We automatically assume: "Ah, I see this in porn, it is sex, it must be sexy then." Some of us still remember those "repressed" times where there was no porn imagery all over the internet - and our own imagination was the source of authentic kinky fantasies. While the access to porn or even to nudity was limited, we could invent fantasies unconstrained by a pool of popular mass-consumed search-engine categories. Later on, the porn gave us unseen options and ideas - but also took some from us. Let's be creative about it. Here, one can cum-template not only about undiscovered personal kinks, but also the way how we engage with the existing ones. I love chastity play - the restraint, the discomfort, the denial, the submissive mindset, the challenge - but I had no masters/owners/doms/keyholders to play with yet. I lock myself - particularly during Locktober and NO-vember, because there is a vague ambience / festivity (?) /support (??) hanging in the air of the virtual hive. But I also suffer from insomnia, I am uncut, I have an ED history - so I simply and sanely do not stay locked 24/7. Let's be playful about it. I unlock for the night, do the hygiene thingy, sleep well to be actually able to enjoy the next horny day. Yes, it is a challenge not to play with my uncaged cock - but one can train one's determination, endurance, sub-space: "No, it can not!". Let it be, ignore it, touch it in the rubber gloves if you want. Free cock (even if at the end of the day it is your mind that decides how "free" it actually is) makes it easier to slip, and more difficult to resist. But ... that's a valid kinky play in itself! Self-control. I don't touch the morning boner until it passes. I lock it up immediately when it wanes, as "the first thing in the morning" - and there's something hot about the procedural aspect of it, the duty, the diligence. Let's be adult about it. I keep the reasonable balance between discomfort and comfort - with an aim to make this as sexy and as long-lasting game as possible for my own taste, my own needs, my own limits. I leave the hypothetical challenges of 24/7 (including the possible circumcision, PA, shaving, difficult nights or even eventual shrinking) for the interaction with a real person. Something to look forward to. Somewhere to progress towards. Someone to honor with that personal sacrifice.