longer.blue

TW: DEATH Hey y'all. I am immeasurably sorry to say that Nepeta has passed away. Earlier this evening, Nepeta started freaking out, yowling/screaming in what sounded like pain, writhing around on the ground panting rapidly. We got her to an emergency pet hospital, and while they were able to stabilize her with oxygen and a catheter, and I was hopeful it wasn't anything unfixable, they did some diagnostics, and it turned out that she had a growth of some kind, very likely cancerous, in her chest cavity. One possibility that the doctor brought up was that a part of the growth broke off, entered Nepeta's bloodstream, and went through to her heart and brain, because even after being stabilized and being able to get back on her feet, she was wobbly and leaning to one side, showing signs of cognitive impairment. And we were looking at more expensive tests, surgery in the future, and just. My savings already took a major hit for the ICU visit, and I only have so much left right now. And when the doctor suggested euthanasia, and I thought it over and how if I went for the option of taking her home (IF she could leave the oxygen room, which we didn't know yet), and try giving her meds and hope she didn't have another attack like that, and I decided that the most merciful, feasible option I could take was having her cross the Rainbow Bridge, and being there with her when she went. I was, I was there for her final few minutes, and held her as the injections were made, and even if she was spaced out on sedatives, I hope she knew I was there with her when she went. I'm fucking heartbroken right now, I've cried a lot, and I'll cry more in the coming days, but I'm SO glad I had her for as long as I did, and that she got to spend at least a few days being 13 years old. And I'm glad I was able to share her and our love with y'all, if only through pics, videos and anecdotes.