longer.blue

As a former member of your community, I have a lot of things to say. This will be a long and serious post, so take your time to read everything in this post: I have accepted that I indeed have been obssessed with drawing all four of the party babies' sona, which was not a good thing for me, nor for everyone else. My unhealthy obsession over your sonas has made you and everyone else start to feel uncomfortable, and I feel bad for letting that happen. I understand that you are not my friends... And i'm not your friend either. You're just people behind computer screens, who don't know me IRL, and I don't know you IRL either. I should have supported you in a more healthy way where you, and the rest of the gang didn't feel uncomfortable. You recognize me by my username as a watcher, but not as a friend. And I recognize you as streamers who enjoy playing video games with your friends on twitch. None of you are talking animals IRL, but actual people... And this applies to everyone who is not asscosiated with the party babies as well, as they are also actual people who have human emotions behind their pngtubers. I understand that all of you don't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm not the one to decide whether I should come back or not, that is something for you to decide. I also feel bad for making one of your friends feel hurt back in Early August during the SA2 playthrough, commenting he gets mad all the time during a video game all the time. And he's right. He's not angry all the time... there are moments where he gets frustrated at a game, but he's not always angry 24/7. I was a dick for saying that.. and I apologize for thinking he was a cartoon animal. when he's actually not... he's a real person who has emotions . You're all humans who have emotions regardless of the pngtubers showing up on screen in front of my face. I want to support you and the rest of the gang in a way that makes you feel comfortable and not the opposite. But in order to rebuild the trust I have lost, I have to promise myself and show myself that I won't do it again... even while i'm blocked from your discord and banned from your chat. I also want to point out that when I first discovered you back in February in 2024, there was already a false controversy involving a Nintendo-focused youtuber I've been watching since the late 2000s, and it was affecting me a lot. (Thank goodness the drama is over) So to take my mind off of what was going on, I went to find a new streamer I have not watched before.... until I stumbled upon your streams featuring the funny streamer duo (on sunday nights, usually). Your streaming content was right down my alley since I love video games and art as well, but because I didn't listen to your rules and the boundaries you set., I cost myself the trust from all of you. This is something that will stick with me for a long time as I get older, and I regret making these mistakes. But despite all this, i'm happy one of you wished me a happy birthday.. not as a parasocial thing, but as a small compliment. I have come to my senses that my actions have consequences, and I am learning from these consequences. I have disappointed and failed you all as a viewer. But... as I am facing these consquences, I have been watching the recent streams while banned, and I have been laughing at the funny stuff that happened in them. I'm sorry for all of my actions and I will continue to support your channel, even though I am still not allowed to be let back in your chat and discord. I apologize for breaking your rules, your boundaries and hurting your friend's feelings... but despite that, I have been supporting the LGBTQ+ community the entire time without being transphobic, homophobic, etc. I'd never be like that since I don't take kindly to transphobes and homophobes. I'm happy to support the LGBTQ+ community and I will keep supporting until the end of time. I had many chances to show myself that I can be trusted in your streaming community, and be a well mannered adult, but I didn't listen to myself nor to you. I feel bad for not listening to your rules and not respecting your boundaries that you set, and I also feel bad for being an asshole to one of your friends who is also a mod for your channel. Thank you for having me in the chat and discord for as long as it lasted. None of you deserved to be feeling uncomfortable since you said obsessions are not to be taken kindly... and I am learning my lesson from these consequences of my actions and improving myself to show myself that I can move on from the past and support the streams, vods and the channel like a well behaved adult.