longer.blue

30APR'25 DAY 7 my heart is so full of sadness and confusion that it is slowly devolving into anger. how could you do this to me? how could you make all those promises and break them so easily and so quickly? how could you tell me that you have changed and you will never go back to your old ways to only do it within a few days like i always knew but hoped you wouldn’t? why do i have to sit here broken and betrayed while you get to replace me and be happy like i never existed? how is this fair? but what can i do? where do i channel this anger? do i blow shit up? do i go after you? do i try to ruin your life? since you won’t ever talk to me again do i just hurt you as much as i can? if you were any other girl i probably would have by now. but i can’t..not to you. i love you so fucking whole heartedly. i could never hurt you like that. i still want the best for you and want you to succeed in life… my promises to you are still so fucking alive. i wish they weren’t..i wish i could hurt you.. but this anger needs to go somewhere.. do i hurt the guy instead? do i ruin his life? i want to..so fucking bad.. lord knows i could.. it wouldn’t even be that difficult..i could cause so many fucking problems for him..but i can’t..i love you..and deep deep deep down i still hope that you will coke back to me one day and i’m not willing to destroy that small tiny sliver of hope i still have.. i will always love you and i would forgive you in a heartbeat.. because there will never be anyone else for me.. you’re my forever goodnight