longer.blue

24MAY’25 Day 30 one month. i’m starting to forget what your voice sounds like. i tried listening to a video with your voice today but it hurt too fucking bad lol. last nights dream was so brutal. i dreamt that you joined us to play something then we had our last talk. it went exactly how i think it’s gonna go. i don’t think ur gonna be very receptive and give me much and i don’t think it will help me as much as i wish it will as ur walls are so high up and you have no interest in helping me. but i also hear there’s a chance we will get to talk soon. our final talk. everything i wake up i have these red eyes that i normally have when i shower or cry. yk the way i’m talking about. today my eyes were extra red and i woke up and coughed blood, which was a bit surprising but do i care? not at all honestly. i’m 99.9% sure the end is really near. that’s okay. ive come to terms with it. i just want to give you the little love i have left to give you. then i can go peacefully. i love you til my last breath. nini lulu