longer.blue

i think this whole thing that happened in nibs server was all started due to a misunderstanding and ways it could have been worded i thought cj was ok with me kissing him because every other furry i see irl tends to be ok with me doing it (setting ground rules about what i can and cannot do would have been a better idea to do instead of getting straight into what we did) one thing cj left out in regards to this is that i sucked him off, even though he was not ok with me kissing him he was well ok with me sucking him off and doing some stuff with his feet before he left. he never told me on discord or after we stopped that he did not liked me attempting to kiss him. i though things were ok between him even when we saw each other irl at TFF this year too and we got to do some stuff together also or... i guess attempt to since i was still dealing with the edible and it was hard to get horny and stuff. something else that feels like a disadvantage over all of this is that i never got a chance to fucking speak in regards to this both in the VC on the 27th and in the group VC i did recently since it was me and four other people rather than it being 1 on 1 instead, i tried to talk about this in VC but it went from talking over each other to then shouting and myself getting emotional since i did not want to leave everyone behind. i don't understand how no one noticed that i was sorry over all of this i kept saying over and over again that i did not want to hurt anyone. this should have never left dms with cj and me and even if i did get a chance out of it the chance was very small and i could not do it at the time since i was tired and not fully there due to waking up still i think it's better to listen to both sides in regards to what's going on rather than listening to one person, something that's really fucking annoying is that we are doing the same shit that happens in every fucking nsfw/fetish server that being drama with each other when that should not be the case. there is no need to bitch at each other due to one person doing something else, i've been a bit guilty about complaining about other people in other servers too but doing towards other people in the server that i reside in is a horrible thing to do. i do think everyone should think over what cj said and also think over what i said too since i never got to say anything about me. cj got to say whatever about me doing stuff in the server i am in with him which i don't think is that too big of a deal compared to saying i physically forced myself onto someone when all i did was a minor fuck up that could have been discussed a year ago or even this year too since we could have talked and discussed this in person or online rather than keeping this against me and then hurting me a year and several months after it happend if this shit bothered cj that much he would have said something about this right away but he did not and since he did not say anything about it and i though things were ok between me and him when we met irl at TFS but instead of doing that, cj form their own agenda about me and adding more things to slander me even more and i had to make those opinions about me resound more louder due to doing actions out of emotion than thinking about what i was doing (in regards to telling yoki to block dj) i want things to get better for not just myself for but for everyone that is in the server as a whole since i do not want to lose everyone that i know in this server for a year and several months. i just want to fix this and move on and hopefully just not have slander about myself in regards to dj, dopple and smelv i am sorry to what i did, i am sorry about putting focus on myself in the VC i was in and i am sorry for telling yoki to block you i was unsure, angry and confused about the 27th and i though things between me and you were over i don't know if they are now but i just want to do what i can to fix this i did nothing wrong in regards to cj, i think this was all a misunderstanding that got out of hand that should have been kept under wraps this has been another horrible moment in my life as if I thought most of what I've experienced was over but hey, who cares what I have to say all of you agreed with the guy who almost got kissed but got his dick fully blown. I guess on the bright side for me is that this happened online and I don't have to worry about registering as a sex offender like my dad also maybe in the future when shit like this happens how about you ask both of the people involved rather than listening to one of them and also ask them to fully explain the full story and not just an excerpt so they could make themselves look better and not do this whole mob mentality crap I never got told what i did during the 27th (from what I've heard cj mention what i did once i left which is petty as fuck), I went in blind when I was in the voice chat I was told to leave and it was for my own good even though I never wanted to abandon anyone from the server