longer.blue

So, @sarahofbramblewood.bsky.social and @stabros.bsky.social, I fight this constantly. I edit my own stuff repeatedly before I send it to an editor. I think it's pretty good. And it doesn't sell for squat. :( Here's an example, let me know what you think of it? ******* Ok, I hae a modern urban fantasy series called "The Watering Hole". It's run by a guy named Bob, who is a retired vampire hunter. His bouncer is a trans woman named Ani and a blood mage. This is a fight scene in the third story in the series, called "Magefight At The OK Corral". My titles are either word plays or hints as to the arc of the stories. In this scene, the two yuppie mages get into a battle with a trio of steampunk witches. Bob and Ani are trying to mediate between them but with no success. ******** “Meddlers” spoke a cultured but intense voice behind me. I turned and looked and the power suit couple were standing about a table length away from me. “Excuse me?” “They were in our way. As are you. But we can rectify that situation.” The guy was standing behind the woman and they both had their iPhones in their hands. They kind of looked like they were aiming them at the women seated at the table and for a second, I thought they were taking pictures. “Down!” Ani yelled and shoved me and my chair over sideways, making me fall to the floor. The fall broke loose the straps holding my wooden leg stump on and it skittered under another table. A bright light lanced out from the woman’s iPhone and hit the table right in front of where I’d been sitting. The table splintered and blew apart as if a grenade had gone off in the middle of it. The three women sitting there had also dived out of the way and then one stood up. She had what looked like a giant gear from a clock in her hand and she muttered something, then threw the gear at the couple. The man punched at his iPhone, and a circle of blinding light appeared around them for a second. The gear smashed against it, fractured into little pieces and fell to the floor. The other woman’s laughter was cut off suddenly as the pieces began to grow and fly around each other in a small but widening circle. They formed the vague shape of a man, bronze and all sorts of pipes and gears and cogs making the shape. It started to take a step toward the couple. The woman shouted to the man, “golem!” and pressed her iPhone again and the bright light lanced out and hit the golem squarely in the chest… and did absolutely nothing to it. The man punched another button on his phone and a bright circle of symbols appeared on the floor, surrounding them. The golem strode up to it and pressed against it, but could make no headway, as if there was an invisible wall between it and the couple. I could hear the trio of women chanting behind me, clearly keeping the golem going. “What the hell am I going to do?” I muttered under my breath, as I scrabbled back sideways for my leg stump. I put it on, tied the straps about my stump and kept low as another beam of light hit the wall above us. “Boss” said Ani in a low voice. “I think I can stop them but you’ll have to pick a side. I can’t stop both.” I hesitated, but only for a second. “Stop the man and woman!” I dived to the floor as another blast from the man’s iPhone destroyed the second table that the women had been ducking behind. As I watched, Ani pulled out a small folding knife from a sheath at her waist and held the blade poised over her forearm. She looked up, noticed me watching her and said, “I might need stitches after this.” She grimaced as the sharp edge cut into her flesh, then quickly folded it and put it back in the sheath. She scooped up the blood with two fingers, stuck them in her mouth. I’ve seen addicts when they get a hit of heroin. I’ve seen people when they take speed. But nothing came close to the look on her face. Orgasm, pain, excitement and bloodlust all at once infused in her face. In one quick motion, she jumped back out from under the table, stood up and ran at the couple, dodging the golem along the way. The woman sent a blast of what looked like brown light from her phone at Ani and it hit her directly in the chest and just seemed to bounce off. The woman had a look of shock on her face as Ani kept coming. She then jumped at the shield the man was putting up, screaming something in Gaelic. I don’t speak the language but, thanks to Sam’s visits, I can recognize it. There was sound, beyond description. And then everything went white. An explosion of light and sound that knocked me to my knees. Like what you’d see if you were at the heart of a nuclear bomb. When I could see again, the bar was absolutely still. No noise. I looked around, thinking that the bar would be destroyed. But the only damage seemed to be the first two tables that the couple had destroyed, and the chair that I’d fallen from. The man and woman had vanished. Ani lay in the middle of the floor. Not moving. I grabbed the table edge and pulled myself to my feet, then limped over as fast as I could and knelt beside her. Not breathing. “Goddamnit” I said as I checked for a pulse, then feeling nothing, tried starting CPR. “You’re not going to die in my bar, not now!”